Drown
by Munchkin79
Summary: The elusive Riverside Stalker had remained just out of reach for the Detectives of Manhattan's SVU.  Exhausted and frustrated by the case, what happens when the Stalker turns his attention to one of their own? A/N: Rating will change to M in a later chap
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello all! For the sake of this story, we are going to pretend that Kathy left for good after Wildlife and she and Elliot have been officially divorced for almost 2 years (Woohoo!). This one will be about 3 or 4 chapters, I think. ****I was lucky enough to have two awesome Beta's for this chap, who have truly been helpful and supportive! Thanks Cori and Belle, you ladies rock! Hope everyone enjoys…**

The city was slowly sinking into darkness, the early evening sky just beginning to show signs of the impending nightfall. Cool rain pelted heated skin as Olivia breathlessly ran through the slick Manhattan streets. Her heartbeat reverberating in her eardrums drowned out the sounds of the rush hour traffic around her as Olivia took a sharp left into a vacant alleyway. It smelled of garbage and urine, but she barely noticed. She refused to stop.

She'd been chasing the perp, Carl Saunders, for ten blocks and he was now only a few feet ahead of her. He swiped up a tin garbage can as he ran, stopping only briefly to toss it in Olivia's direction. She faltered as she used her right arm to block the direct hit, the movement slowing her down considerably.

"You son of a bitch, stop where you are!" Olivia panted, her lungs heaving with effort.

"Got him!" Elliot shouted as he cut the man off at the other side of the alleyway. Elliot grabbed the scumbag by his navy blue hoodie and threw him harshly up against the wall.

"Fuck," Carl yelped as he was smashed against the hard concrete. Seconds later, Olivia caught up with them, cuffing Carl as she read him his rights.

Not that the asshole deserved rights.

Carl Saunders was 36, six foot two, in relatively good shape, with dark blue eyes and sandy hair. Your typical all American, nice guy. Unfortunately, he had a not so nice habit of stalking and raping women on the upper west side near Riverside Park.

The Special Victims Unit had received an anonymous tip early in the day, implying that Saunders was in fact the long sought after Riverside Stalker. The Stalker had a penchant for following young women in their twenties for weeks before making his move. His MO was known throughout the city and had been causing panic all over the west side of Manhattan.

Up until this point, all the SVU had to go on was a physical description, not including a face. All they knew about him from the neck up was that the stalker wore a dark ski mask to hide his features.

And Saunders fit that profile to the letter.

**{EO}**

"Okay, Saunders, where were you last night around 10:30pm?" Olivia's voice was cold, accusatory as she questioned him.

Carl Saunders' gaze raked up and down her body, sending chills of disgust down her spine.

He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, replying smugly, "Having _consensual_ sex with some bitch I met at the bar."

Olivia smirked as Elliot looked on from the corner of the interrogation room, waiting. Waiting for this bastard to make one wrong move before he pounced.

"That's not what we were told," Olivia said as she sat down in front of him, staring him down. "We received a call this morning putting you at the scene of the latest victim's attack."

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Carl answered, "Attack? That chick I took home asked me for it and you can't prove otherwise. I'd give you her number to ask yourself if I had it." He leaned backward, stretching his arms behind him, lacing his fingers together behind his head.

Elliot made eye contact with Olivia, communicating without words.

The fucker was right. They had no solid evidence, only an anonymous tip and a partial description.

The last victim of the Riverside Stalker had been halfway home before she was attacked and the pervert had used a condom. As with all of the other women he had violated, there was never anything of use left behind for their investigation.

They couldn't hold him. Elliot and Olivia had both been counting on a confession, but after almost an hour of questioning, neither of them could rattle the prick.

Then Saunders uttered the words that left them in defeat. "I want a lawyer."

_Fuck_.

As Olivia pushed herself off of the chair, Saunders grabbed her arm. "Nice meeting you, Detective," he said smugly. "Looking forward to seeing you again very soon."

The sadistic grin on his face was enough to make both Olivia and Elliot flinch with concern.

**{EO}**

"Look, Liv, it's for your own safety," Elliot argued as Olivia glared at him, slamming her locker door shut.

"Elliot, I do not need a protective detail following me around as if I were a civilian," Olivia stated firmly.

"I know you can take care of yourself, but this guy is good. We've got nothing substantial on him and he practically threatened you during interrogation. At least let me take you home…"

"Fine! Fine, El, have it your way but you're being ridiculous," Olivia grumbled, defeated. Shaking her head and giving him a half smile, she said, "I'm just gonna grab my bag from my desk and I'll meet you out front."

As Elliot waited in the lobby of the precinct, he could feel the weight of worry for his partner draining him. Ever since his divorce from Kathy almost two years ago, he had come to further depend on Olivia emotionally. They had become quite close, and slowly Elliot had developed genuine feelings for her. If he was totally honest with himself, he was pretty sure he was in love, though he couldn't imagine admitting it out loud any time soon. He and Olivia had been out to dinner at least a dozen times and have spent an increasing amount of time together in general over the past few months. Both of them were hesitant to put a label on what had been developing between them, but Elliot for one was happy with the way things were going. The thought of some stalker-rapist even looking at her wrong caused a sinking feeling to develop in the pit of his stomach. It took all the restraint Elliot possessed not to thrash the son of a bitch right there in the interrogation room. He smirked at the thought of the look on Olivia's face if he had done just that. She was already pissed enough that he even suggested getting her a protective detail for her own safety. The woman was nothing if not stubborn as fuck.

{EO}

Over a week had passed with no new evidence leading to the arrest of Carl Saunders. Another rape had occurred in broad daylight near a dumpster next to the victim's apartment building. He was getting bolder, taking more risks. They knew he was bound to screw up soon; to get caught or leave something behind.

Elliot and Olivia sat at their desks, frustrated as they reviewed the latest victim report. Elliot stared at his partner from across the desk, taking in her exhausted appearance, brow furrowed with unease.

"I'm _fine_, Elliot. Please just drop it, will you? It's not like getting harassing phone calls every now and then is something new with our job."

Over the past week Olivia had grown increasingly irritated with Elliot. She never should have told him about the late night calls she had been getting from an unknown male. Almost every night for the last few days, at exactly 11pm, the phone would ring. Upon answering, Olivia would only hear heavy breathing followed by an evil laugh before he hung up. She hadn't said anything to anyone until the previous night when the voice told her that he'd be watching and would see her soon. Elliot had noticed the dark circles under her eyes due to lack of sleep and she'd finally broken down and told him about the calls. For the rest of the day, Elliot must have asked her at least five times if she was okay.

"No, I won't drop it, Liv. Some psycho basically threatened you and you expect me to act like it's just another day?" Elliot reached out to grab her hand but Olivia quickly pulled away. Even though they had been spending time together outside of work to the point where others may call it "dating", she had been very clear about keeping whatever it was they had together out of job.

"_Elliot_," she warned. Elliot retracted his hand back to his own desk as she continued. "I don't need you coddling me. I can handle myself. I'm sorry I even said anything to you."

Elliot sighed and raised an eyebrow at her. "Fine, have it your way. You drive me nuts sometimes you know," he said with a wink before returning his attention to the file on his desk.

Olivia shook her head in amusement, trying to hold back the smile creeping up on her face.

Several hours later, Captain Cragen ordered Elliot and Olivia be dismissed early so they could start their weekends. It had been an incredibly long and trying week not being able to arrest their prime suspect in the Riverside Stalker case despite hours of re-interviewing his victims and combing through what little concrete evidence they actually had.

Heading to their respective cars, Elliot bumped his shoulder against Olivia's. "Want to grab dinner and hang out tonight?" He asked hopefully.

Olivia stopped walking and quirked her right eyebrow at him. "El, I know what you're doing. I'll be okay alone tonight. I just want to go for a run, and then soak in a hot bath before collapsing into bed early for a change."

"A hot bath, then bed? You sure you don't want some company?" Elliot teased, playfully poking Olivia's side.

Olivia laughed, batting his hand away. "I promise I'll call you later, so you don't have the National Guard at my door! Want to get lunch tomorrow around one?"

"Sounds good, Liv. I'll talk to you later," Elliot said with a soft smile.

Yet under half an hour later, Elliot couldn't help himself. He was so filled with concern for Olivia's safety, even more now that she received a threatening message, that despite how furious Olivia would be if she knew, Elliot waited outside her complex for her to leave her apartment and head over to Riverside Park for her daily jog. The two of them had run the same trail together many times over the years, so he knew the routine. When he saw Olivia leave her building, clad in black yoga pants and a charcoal grey sweatshirt, he drove to the end of the trail so he could ensure she got home again safely.

**{EO}**

The sun had begun to set over the Hudson River as Olivia started her jog. The sky was lit with streaks of orange and pink and the descending sun reflected shimmering light onto the ripples of the water, making it appear as though thousands of diamonds were glistening upon the surface.

Olivia had always felt calmed by the presence of water. Whether it was going to the beach, jogging along the river, or taking a hot bath, there was something about it that put her at ease. Her sneakered feet pounded lightly against the gravel path around the edge of the park as she took in the beautiful scene before her. Olivia looked forward to this time not just to get in her daily exercise, but also for the opportunity to clear her head. She smiled to herself as she thought about how worried Elliot had been acting lately. As annoying as he could be when he got overly protective of her, she secretly kind of liked it because it made her feel safe…and loved.

Following the curve of the path before her, about fifteen minutes into her run, an eerie feeling Olivia could not shake took over her body, raising the fine hairs on the back of her neck. Her heart stopped for a moment as she slowed down to inspect her surroundings, a rustling coming from one of the trees beside her catching her attention. As she walked over to investigate the source of the noise, Olivia suddenly felt a sharp throb in her skull and was aware of her body being tossed into the frigid water of the Hudson River. Soft shades of gray clouded her vision as the cold water enveloped her. Despite the temperature, a peaceful warmth flowed throughout her body as the water rushed into her lungs stealing her breath. Thoughts of Elliot flooded her memory before she was drawn further beneath the surface of the Hudson.

So this is what it felt like before you died.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks again to Belle for the Beta and Cori for the Beta AND patiently bouncing ideas around with me on this one! Let me know what you think :)**

Sitting in his jeep at the end of Olivia's usual jogging path, Elliot tried to figure out how in the hell he was going to explain his presence to her if she spotted him. Smiling to himself at the image of an irritated Olivia, he was shaken from his thoughts by a frantic tap at the window. He turned to see a young man trying to get his attention, a look of panic etched across his features. Elliot quickly rolled down the window.

"Dude, do you have a cell phone on you? You gotta call 911, like now! There's a lady floating in the river halfway down the west trail…I-I can't get to her!" The young man exclaimed breathlessly.

Heart in his throat, Elliot jumped out of the jeep and sprinted down the trail, pulling his Blackberry from his pocket.

Olivia.

No.

"I need a bus to Riverside Park, west side jogging trail, about a mile and a half in from the south entrance. Officer down, I repeat, Officer down!" Elliot gasped for air as he scanned the surface of the water for any sign of his partner. He knew it was her. He just _knew_.

After running for what felt like hours, Elliot spotted her. Floating, head slightly above the water, mouth agape.

Without a further thought, Elliot tossed his coat aside and dove into the icy water. His heart was slamming in his chest as he swam about twenty feet out until he reached Olivia. She was unconscious and barely breathing.

"Liv! Liv, stay with me…you're gonna be okay." He made his way through the murky river, dragging her along until they reached the shore. Elliot pulled her further inland with difficulty, as they were soaked to the bone with frigid water and Olivia's dead weight.

Olivia's body was pale and her lips had turned blue. Elliot checked for a pulse, but it was weak at best.

This. Couldn't. Happen.

"Where the fuck is the bus?" Elliot screamed into the darkening evening sky. Shaking, he leaned over Olivia and began to perform CPR. "Come on, baby. Please, Liv…just breathe. Just breathe, Liv."

Suddenly Olivia heaved a deep gulp of air before coughing, sputtering a light pink froth from her mouth.

Elliot's eyes widened in horror as he wiped around her mouth with his shirtsleeve and rolled Olivia onto her side to avoid aspiration. "Shit! Liv, Oh my God!" He quickly grabbed his dry coat that he had left at the water's edge and laid it over her freezing body.

"It's okay, Liv. You're okay. I've got you. A bus is on its way and I'm not gonna let you go until they get here." He pulled her up into his lap and sat stroking her hair as he rocked her back and forth in his arms. Olivia's breathing was irregular and her body began to shake violently. She had a large bump forming on the back of her head, blood beginning to cake onto her hair.

Elliot pressed his lips to her temple gently, whispering. "I should've stayed with you, Liv. Please…you _can't_ leave me. Do you hear me? You can't!" Elliot squeezed back the tears stinging at his eyes.

Olivia was wrapped tightly in his arms as Elliot mumbled words of encouragement into her clammy skin; the passage of time only known to him by the darkening sky and water. Finally, a team of paramedics appeared seemingly from nowhere as Elliot looked on numbly, briefly paralyzed with the shock of what had been happening. One of the paramedics gently extricated Olivia from Elliot's strong grasp to check her vitals and rush her onto the waiting ambulance at the end of the path.

For a moment, Elliot remained sitting and staring into the depths of the water before him.

Somebody had to be responsible for this. Somebody would pay.

Later. Later he would worry about the dead man walking that hurt his partner-his heart. Pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, Elliot shook his head and took a deep breath before pushing himself up off the ground. He headed back down the trail to his car to meet the ambulance at the hospital.

**{EO}**

"She's going into cardiac arrest! Code blue!" The ER doctor shouted into the bustling hallway as he rolled Olivia's gurney into a private room.

Elliot had been pushed aside and ordered to wait in the hallway as soon as she had been brought in; a nurse curtly telling him someone would be out shortly to inform him of Olivia's condition.

Cardiac arrest.

Elliot leaned heavily against the wall outside of the room as he watched the terrifying scene develop before him. Slowly sliding down to the floor, he buried his face in his hands and began to pray.

Moments later, Captain Cragen appeared, squatting down to place a heavy hand on Elliot's shoulder. "What happened, Elliot? She going to be okay? I got the call when she was admitted." The captain's eyes were wide with alarm despite his composed tone.

"I can't- I don't know," Elliot barely managed to croak out the words before he started to violently gasp for air. His eyes were red rimmed and filled with fear.

"Elliot! Breathe…calm down. You're having a panic attack or something." Cragen pulled him up by the arm, leading him through the bustling lobby and outside of the hospital. "Come on, let's get some air."

Inhaling deep, heaving breaths as the cold air invaded his lungs; Elliot made his way over to a nearby bench and plopped down. "Cardiac arrest. Oh, God," he choked out between breaths.

Cragen sat down beside Elliot and placed an arm around him reassuringly. "She's in good hands now Elliot. There's nothing more you could have done. You know better than any of us that she's a fighter…she'll get through it."

Finally, Elliot began to catch his breath and glanced over at his captain. "She nearly drowned in the river. She had a lump on her head. I know it's not his MO, but my gut's telling me it's the Stalker, Cap." Elliot pushed himself off of the bench and began to pace. "He basically threatened her. I should've been there. I should've…_fuck_!"

"Elliot! What do you mean threatened? Why wasn't this reported to me?"

"She's so fucking stubborn, Cap. She wouldn't let me help…so fucking stubborn," Elliot mumbled.

"Okay, let's just go back in and sit down. I'm obviously not going to get any information from you right now. Let's just focus on Olivia and we'll worry about the rest later." Cragen led Elliot back through the automatic doors of the hospital just as an ER nurse made an appearance.

"Family of Olivia Benson?" The young woman questioned, scanning the crowded waiting room.

Elliot hurriedly made his way over to her, eyes wide with worry. "Yes, I'm her next of kin-Elliot Stabler. She okay?"

"Ms. Benson's heart rate is still low, but steady. She is breathing with the assistance of a ventilator and will have to remain in the ICU until she can breathe fully on her own. She continues to drift in and out of consciousness, but we expect that she will make a full recovery as she gets stronger." The seemingly distracted nurse returned her focus onto her clipboard, scribbling something as she turned to walk back down the hall.

"Wait!" Elliot hollered, grabbing her by the bicep; the entire population of the waiting room turning to stare at his outburst. He cleared his throat before speaking. "Can I see her yet?" He asked quietly, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

The nurse had paused and turned her attention to Elliot and Cragen, who were standing side by side wearing expressions of deep unease. "I'm sorry Mr. Stabler, but you won't be able to visit Ms. Benson until she is out of ICU. We are hoping that will be by tomorrow, but nothing is definite. You will be notified as soon as there is any change of status regarding her condition."

Disheartened, Elliot looked over at Cragen, then back to the nurse. "All right-okay…please let me know as soon as there is any change, no matter how small."

"Will do. I suggest you go home and get some rest, sir. We don't anticipate any major change overnight. We'll be in touch." With that, the nurse made her way back into the ER leaving Elliot and Cragen dejected.

"Elliot, you really should go home and get some rest. You've been through-"

"No! No, Cap I'm _not_ going home. You go ahead and I'll call you if there's any news. I'm going to stay with her until she wakes. I hope you understand," Elliot stated firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Captain Cragen stared at Elliot for a long moment before answering. "Fine Elliot, but don't beat yourself up over this. She's going to be okay. Call me in the morning and we'll figure out the schedule."

Grateful, Elliot nodded at his captain. "Thanks, Don. I'll be in touch."

**{EO}**

Finally having a free moment to process the events of the last few hours, Elliot sat slumped in a hard plastic chair in the hospital's cold, sterile waiting area. Staring blankly ahead, he began to ruminate over everything that happened and how he could have prevented it. And that made him angry. Angry at both himself and Olivia. How? How could she be so careless as to jog in the very park the Stalker was known to frequent? She knew he had become more daring as of late. The woman thought she was invincible - she always had. Elliot thought back to one of their first years working together. She had been stalked before and was just as stubborn then. As much as things had changed, the more they seemed the same. He even told her back then that she wasn't superwoman.

God, had that really been over a decade ago?

Over a decade with this woman had changed Elliot more than he would have ever imagined. From tentative new partners, to friends, to more, and then _whoops_, back to just friends again! And now – now he hoped what they had started would just continue to flourish. He adored Olivia and when she woke up, he would make sure she knew- he'd make her understand. It had taken years to slowly develop, but he was in love- there was no denying it any longer. He couldn't picture his life without her and he hated that he even had to try. Olivia just _had _to get through this. This couldn't be how they ended – they were meant for so much more.

Fighting back hot tears, Elliot sniffed, swiping the back of his hand under his eyes and attempted to regain control of his emotions. Fin's voice startled him as he shifted in the uncomfortable chair and took a deep calming breath.

"Hey, man, how you holding up? Cap told us that Liv was in ICU, but that she's gonna pull through." Fin took a seat next to Elliot, followed by Munch who was carrying a paper try with three black coffees.

"Hey guys, nurse said she should be alright, but she's still on a ventilator and her heart rate is weak." Fin and Munch nodded solemnly as they each grabbed a coffee.

"She's a tough cookie, Elliot. She'll probably wake up and want to kick our asses for being so overprotective and worried about her," Munch said with a lopsided smile.

Fin smirked. "Yeah, you're probably right."

Elliot sipped the hot coffee, grateful for the distraction. "You guys make any headway on the Riverside Stalker? I'm telling you that's who did this to Liv. It's gotta be Saunders."

Munch and Fin exchanged glances. "We can't find him- his apartment is empty and none of his neighbors or coworkers even knew he was leaving," Munch grunted with frustration. "We're going to find the bastard, Elliot. He had been getting sloppy and if Liv wakes up, maybe she can tell us something…"

"If?" Elliot interrupted with a growl. "_When_, John. _When_ Liv wakes up."

"Chill, Stabler, he didn't mean anything by it," Fin said, defending his partner.

Elliot dropped his head into his hands in frustration. "I know- I know, I'm sorry guys. I just can't…I just need some air." He stood up and headed towards the lobby doors.

"Mr. Elliot Stabler?" An elderly nurse called out to the waiting area.

Stunned that there was news so soon, Elliot ran over to the woman with hope in his eyes. "Yes, I'm Elliot Stabler."

"Ms. Benson will most likely be moved from the ICU and into a private room near the nurse's station in the morning. She's not completely out of the woods yet, and is still depending on the ventilator to some degree. She is conscious now though, but exhausted and not completely coherent, as she's been through a major trauma. You will be able to see her shortly for a brief visit. She's a very lucky woman."

Elliot released a rush of air at the news, the bottled up breath he didn't even realize he had been holding. Dizzy with emotion, he looked over at Munch and Fin. "She's going to be okay guys- she's finally awake."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: A huge thanks to Cori for being an amazing Beta and an even more amazing friend! Hope you all enjoy! Reviews make my day! :)**

"Five minutes tops Mr. Stabler," the elderly nurse stated. "Ms. Benson is still quite weak and needs as much uninterrupted rest as possible."

Nodding at the nurse, Elliot couldn't take his eyes away from the scene before him. Olivia was hooked up to an IV and an oxygen mask had been placed over her nose and mouth to aid in her breathing, which was ragged and audible in the otherwise silent room. The pungent odor of disinfectant invaded his nostrils and Elliot's stomach turned, but it was the expression on Olivia's face that filled him with a surge of emotions.

Anger. Fear. Guilt. Love.

She was staring blankly up at the stark white ceiling, seemingly oblivious to anything that was happening around her. Olivia, in that moment, was small and fragile. Something Elliot never thought he would see. He quickly stepped inside and grabbed the hand that was not hooked up to an IV. Though she was still staring up the ceiling, he heard her breath hitch. Tightening the grip on her hand, Elliot swallowed and began to speak softly.

"Hey Liv, I gotta admit you scared the shit out of me," he chuckled softly, stroking his thumb over her knuckles. Elliot watched Olivia's dark eyelashes flutter as her head turned slightly in his direction. Lifting her hand to his lips, Elliot pressed a gentle kiss onto her soft skin.

"El," Olivia breathed as she curled her fingers around his hand.

"You're going to be okay…just rest," he whispered as he brushed a hand gently through her tangled hair. "They're going to move you to a different room in the morning and once you get stronger, I'll take you home. We're going to get whoever did this to you, Liv. I won't be satisfied until he is behind bars."

Olivia moaned softly in discomfort, shifting on the hard hospital mattress.

"Liv-"Elliot leaned over her body to inspect the source of her pain. Olivia stopped him by placing a gentle hand on his forearm.

"Saunders," she muttered.

Elliot cupped her face in his hand, gently skimming his thumb over the apple of her cheek. He swallowed harshly at the rush of emotion he felt building in his throat; relieved she was alive, yet disgusted the dirtbag that did to her was still out there. "Shit, Liv. I'm so fucking sorry I wasn't there. I just had a feeling something wasn't right and I knew- just _knew_ it was Saunders. We're going to find him, so don't even let yourself worry about it, okay?"

Olivia nodded weakly as her eyelids fluttered closed.

Elliot pressed a kiss to her flushed cheek and ran his hand through her tousled hair once again. "I'll be here when you wake up, Liv."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stabler, but you'll need to leave the room now. I need to check her vitals and as I told you before, she needs as much uninterrupted rest as possible." The nurse headed over to Olivia's bed with a blood pressure cuff and placed her clipboard on the bedside table. She glanced at Elliot as she began to place the cuff around Olivia's limp arm. "As long as her vitals continue to get stronger throughout the night, we anticipate that she will be moved out of the ICU in the morning. You will be able to have a longer visit with her at that time."

Elliot exhaled a breath and gave Olivia's hand a squeeze one last time before making his way out of the room. The thought of having to leave her to suffer throughout the night alone in her condition made him feel ill, but if anyone was a survivor, it was Olivia. The woman possessed strength and determination unlike anyone else he had ever met in his life. He smiled softly to himself as he made his way back into the crowded lobby and settled himself into a hard, plastic chair to wait out the night.

**{EO}**

A soft buzzing against his hip roused Elliot out of a restless sleep. He opened his eyes and squinted against the bright light, his body protesting the way he had been slumped over in his seat. Clearing his throat, he sat up and reached for his Blackberry. "Stabler," he said with a yawn.

"Elliot, how's Olivia?" Fin asked hurriedly.

Straightening himself further in the uncomfortable chair, Elliot responded tiredly. "Hey, Fin. She's gonna be moved out of ICU soon as long as her vitals stay stable throughout the night." He glanced at his watch and noted that it was already almost 5am. "Hoping to hear something soon," he continued.

"Alright, that's good. She's a trooper, man," Fin started. "But listen…I need you to meet me in the parking garage at Liv's apartment. There's been another rape."

"Liv's parking garage? _Fuck_!"

"Yeah, I know. Seems to be sending a pretty obvious message," Fin stated with disgust. "Damn reporters have had Liv's attack plastered all over the news since last night. Saunders musta saw that he didn't finish the job like he thought."

"I'll be there in ten minutes, Fin." Elliot shoved the phone back in his pocket and made his way over to the information desk.

"Can you please let Olivia Benson's nurse know that I had to leave for a bit and to call my cell with any updates when she's moved out of ICU? The name's Elliot Stabler, her next of kin," he quickly told the bored looking secretary sitting at a desk behind a wall of glass.

"Yeah, no problem, sir." The young woman scribbled something down on a post-it and went back to filing her nails, never making eye contact with Elliot.

Rolling his eyes, Elliot walked out to his car, wondering how the hell another rape occurred with Saunders MO, when he was nowhere to be found. Could he really be that stupid to chance being caught so soon after Olivia's attack? And to do it in her apartment building's parking garage? The guy had balls, he would give him that…and Elliot couldn't wait to rip them off.

**{EO}**

"Hey Fin, what've we got?" Elliot looked over the crime scene as he ducked under a ribbon of caution tape.

"I'll meet you at the hospital and your husband is on his way too, okay? We're gonna get the asshole that did this to you, Sharon." Fin slammed the ambulance doors shut before turning his attention to Elliot.

"Hey, poor thing's scared to death. Fucker attacked her in the backseat of her own car. The vic is Sharon Matthews…lives two floors down from Olivia," Fin said sadly.

"Shit…he leave anything behind this time?"

"We got uniforms combing through the area, but nothin' so far. Man, this is bullshit. Thing is that this woman fits Saunders' usual type and MO, and Liv doesn't, you know? Liv was _sure_ it was Saunders? I mean, we searched everywhere and questioned a lot of people and it's like he vanished into thin air…then this happens."

Elliot scrubbed a frustrated hand down his face. "Yeah I know Fin, but she specifically said the name Saunders when she was awake last night. TARU finish dumping her phone, yet? It's gotta be Saunders that kept calling her all week. Hopefully they can trace it and we can finally catch a fucking break!"

"They're still workin' on it. This is frustrating as hell. Look Elliot, you finish up here and I gotta head over to Mercy to meet up with the vic. I'll catch up with you later." Fin released a rush of air and placed a hand on Elliot's shoulder. "We're gonna figure it out, man. He's starting to get too cocky."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Fin…I'll meet you back at the house later."

Elliot couldn't focus. Looking through the crime scene before him, he could only think of Olivia lying in that cold, sterile hospital room alone. He promised he'd be there when she woke up, but this new case was going to keep him away for most of the day.

"Detective Stabler?" A young officer made his way over to Elliot holding a plastic bag containing a Trojan condom wrapper.

"What have you got?" Elliot furrowed his brows and reached for the bag with his latex gloved hand.

"Opened condom wrapper found under that blue Toyota. Figured we can see if we can recover some prints…"

"Thanks, Matthews. Do me a favor and run this over to the lab. Put a rush on it." Elliot shot the rookie a stern look.

Elliot watched as the uniformed officer hurried into his squad car and headed in the direction of the precinct. This could be the break they were all hoping for or this could be nothing…just another dead end. He frowned, turned back and continued to search for evidence, but after an hour of combing through the area, Elliot and the rest of the officers came up empty handed.

Feeling dejected, Elliot made his way back to the jeep.

As Elliot navigated his way from the scene to the precinct through morning rush hour traffic, his phone began to buzz.

"Stabler," he stated, not looking at the caller ID.

"We got a partial print from the wrapper. It matches up with Saunders." Cragen's voice floated into his conscious abruptly ending thoughts Elliot was having about Olivia being alone in the hospital. "We put an alert out to all area hospitals, airports and precincts and we already got a hit. Seems he's at New York Presbyterian, Elliot…being seen for a broken rib."

His heart stopped in his chest. New York Presbyterian. The hospital where Olivia was being treated.

_Shit_.

"I'll be at the hospital ASAP, Cap," Elliot shouted into the phone before stuffing it into his pocket.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you SO much for all of the wonderful reviews! Thanks also to Foreward for pointing out the ventilator thing I forgot to change in chap 2! LOL Good eye ;) Lastly, a huge thank you again to my fantabulous Beta, Cori for patiently working with me to make this story the best it can be! Anyway…on with the story! Hope you all enjoy…**

Bringing the jeep to a screeching halt, Elliot turned it in the opposite direction, cutting off a group of impatient motorists in the process, and headed to the hospital.

Saunders would finally get what was coming to him, if he had anything to say about it.

Halfway to the hospital, Elliot's Blackberry began to vibrate once again. With frustration, he snatched it from his pocket and answered.

"Mr. Stabler?" The hesitant voice questioned.

"Yes, this is Detective Stabler. Can I help you?"

"Um, yes, this is Gloria Weston, a nurse at New York Presbyterian…Miss Olivia Benson has been moved out of ICU and although she is still being treated for a mild case of pneumonia, she can have some visitors for a short period of time now."

_Fuck._

Elliot ended the call without a word and pushed down on the gas pedal, increasing his speed. As relieved as he felt that Olivia was out of the ICU, the fact that Saunders was in the same hospital, potentially trying to locate her now that she was able to have visitors, caused his heart to rapidly thump against his ribcage with worry. His mind began to imagine different scenarios involving that son of a bitch hurting her while she lay alone and feeling ill.

The tires of his jeep squealing as he turned sharply into the parking lot of New York Presbyterian, Elliot swung haphazardly into the closest available spot. He slammed the car door shut and jogged into the building and up to the information desk, badge flashing in his unsteady palm.

"Detective Stabler, NYPD! I need Olivia Benson's room number now!" Elliot gasped for air as he observed the terrified looking secretary rapidly type out information onto the keyboard of her computer.

"Benson…uh, room 143. Down the hall and hang a right," she stammered.

**{EO}**

Elliot tried to catch his breath as he stared at Olivia's empty, rumpled hospital bed.

He slammed his fist against the opened, cold metal door of room 143 and dialed his cell. "Fin, get down here now! She's gone! _Fuck_, Liv's gone!"

"Looking for someone?" He turned around to see a cocky looking Carl Saunders, his arms crossed over his chest, watching Elliot from the hallway just outside Olivia's room.

Elliot's eyes narrowed as he charged at the man. "You son of a bitch-" Elliot shoved Saunders roughly against the wall and placed a strong hand firmly against his throat. "Where is she? Where the fuck is Olivia?"

Saunders groaned in pain, glaring at Elliot. "Shit Stabler get off me! I don't know where that bitch is!"

Elliot tightened his grip on Saunders' throat. "Listen you prick…I asked you a fucking question. Where. The fuck. Is. Olivia?" He shouted, punctuating each word with another slam of Saunders' back against the wall.

"I don't give a shit where your little girlfriend is!" He sputtered. "Heard someone tried to do her in…bitch got what she deserved!"

"Do you have a death wish asshole? It was you and we got enough evidence to bring your ass in again, so wipe that fucking smirk off your face and tell me what the fuck you did to Olivia. Don't make me ask you again," he growled.

"What's going on here?" The nervous looking hospital security guard couldn't have been more than twenty five. "Break it up!"

"Um, excuse me, sir. Are you talking about Olivia Benson?" A petite nurse questioned as she cowered behind the lanky security guard.

Finally breaking his focus from Saunders, Elliot glanced over at the source of the small voice. "Yeah, Olivia Benson. You know where she is?"

"Uh, yes. Um, she was taken to get a MRI about twenty minutes ago. She's okay, sir. So um please let go of Mr. Saunders… he has a broken rib."

"MRI?"

"You see Stabler, I didn't touch the bitch! Now let me the fuck go!" Saunders pushed against Elliot. "Get off me before I press charges."

"Press- are you fucking kidding me?"

"Hey, Elliot!" Fin shouted, as he jogged down the long hallway that was now filled with onlookers. "Let him go man, I'm taking him down to the station now. You just worry about Liv for now." Fin grabbed Saunders from Elliot's grasp, roughly cuffing him, as he began to read him his rights.

Elliot clenched his fists as he watched Fin drag the asshole away.

Olivia was okay.

He released a rush of air as he leaned against the wall for support then turned to the shocked looking nurse again. "When can I see her?"

**{EO}**

"All right Saunders, care to explain how your fingerprint ended up on a condom wrapper we found at the scene of Sharon Matthews' attack?" John Munch raised a bushy eyebrow over his lowered dark glasses.

"Fuck if I know! I was at the goddamn hospital all morning!"

"How'd you get the broken rib anyway?" Fin walked across the dim interrogation room and leaned in toward Saunders.

"None of your damn business, but thanks for asking." Saunders sniffed and looked down at the metal table in front of him.

Fin and Munch exchanged glances.

Fin pounded his fist on the table. "Here's what I think went down. You tried to get rid of Detective Benson, but you failed, so to satisfy your sick needs you found another victim that lives in her building to rape and murder…"

"You wanted to send a message- a threat. Why else would you pick Detective Benson's building? But this time your victim fought back harder than you expected. She kicked you in the ribs and fought like hell, so you scurried off to the hospital and left her there naked, violated, and terrified." Munch stood on the opposite side of Saunders from Fin, leaning in close to his face. "What I want to know though, is how you managed to attempt to murder Detective Benson without anyone seeing you."

"I had nothing to do with what happened to Benson, but fuck if she didn't deserve it!"

"Deserve it? Tell me, in your twisted little brain, why the hell do you think she deserves to die?"

Saunders was about to respond when a firm knock against the glass of the two way mirror startled the three men.

Munch walked out to see what was going on and was motioned over to the double mirror by ADA Gillian Hardwicke and Captain Cragen.

"He's definitely the rapist," Gillian stated. "We just received solid evidence from the lab. DNA taken from under Sharon's finger nails and traces of semen from her inner thigh are a match, and even though the partial print on the condom wrapper wasn't conclusive, this definitely is. He's going down for the most recent rape- the only one we can prove-but we need him to fess up about the attack on Olivia. She said his name identifying Saunders as her attacker while under the influence of medications in the hospital, so we need more to go on to nail him for attempted murder of a police officer."

"Got it. Thanks Gillian." Munch headed back into interrogation, where Fin was grabbing Saunders by his shirt collar.

"Well, Mr. Saunders looks like some new evidence popped up that is not in your favor."

"What are you talking about, old man?" Saunders rubbed absently at the back of his neck as Fin released his shirt.

The corner of his mouth twitching slightly, Munch haughtily confronted Saunders with the evidence Alex had laid out before him.

Shifting awkwardly in his seat, Saunders wouldn't make eye contact with the detectives.

"Looks like now all we gotta know is what happened with Olivia," Fin stated, chin tilted upward.

Feeling defeated, Saunders turned his gaze up at Fin and then quickly looked away. "I told you…I had nothing to do with what happened to Benson." He cleared his throat and crossed his arms.

Munch gave Fin another knowing look. "Then who did?"

"No one… I mean, I don't know who tried to kill that bitch. How many times do I have to tell everyone that?"

Fin yanked the chair out from under Saunders, causing him to land harshly on his back on the concrete floor.

"Fuck!"

Hovering over Saunders menacingly, Fin stared down at the pathetic man before him. "You know who it is, don't you? If it wasn't you, then who was it? I suggest you tell us or you'll not only do time for rape, but for attempted murder of an NYPD officer too."

"I- I want a deal!" Saunders scrambled up off the floor clutching his back and ribcage in pain. "I tell you who's involved and I do less time and not for murder. This is so fucked up!"

With that statement, Gillian walked into the room and sat down calmly before him. "I've contacted your lawyer and we'll work something out. You give me a name that leads to the arrest of the attempted murder of Detective Benson and you will only be charged with one rape…_but_ you will receive the harshest penalty with no possibility of getting out early for good behavior."

"What the fuck kinda deal is _that_? I'd still be in jail for like what- fifteen, twenty years or more?"

"Would you prefer life, Mr. Saunders?"

"Don't answer that." Defense Attorney, Jeremy Swift entered the room with authority and plopped down his briefcase next to Saunders. After much whispering back and forth, Saunders had seemingly made a decision.

Swallowing harshly and taking a deep breath, he muttered, "Jake. Jacob Saunders…my brother."

The room went silent.

"Your…brother?" Gillian's right eyebrow quirked. "Your _brother_ is the person who tried to murder Olivia Benson?"

"He's still out there…I gotta tell Cap and Elliot." Fin quickly left the room and headed toward the captain's office.

**{EO}**

Elliot put his Blackberry on silent before stepping into Olivia's room, watching as a nurse helped her settle into bed. Although her usual luminosity was absent, Elliot noticed that some of the color had returned to her face. Her eyes were clearer and she was smiling softly at her nurse as she carefully situated herself into the bed.

"Hey there, sleepy-head." Elliot made himself comfortable in the cushioned chair beside Olivia's bed. She smiled at him as he brushed his fingers down her smooth, flushed cheek.

"You weren't here when I woke up," she teased before dissolving into a coughing fit.

Elliot chuckled and motioned for her to move forward in the bed. "Come here," he said as he slid into the bed behind her; her back resting against his hard chest. He wrapped his arms around her stomach as she laid her head back onto his broad shoulder. "You have to stay elevated so your lungs don't get so congested."

"That right?" Olivia craned her neck to look up at his face behind her, eyebrow quirked.

"Not sure, but it would make sense right?"

"Okay Dr. Stabler." Her grin slowly dissipated as she became more serious. "Any word on Saunders?"

Pressing his lips against her temple, Elliot soothed her. "We got him, Liv. Fin brought he fucker down to the precinct and they are probably still interrogating him as we speak. It's over."

Olivia nodded slightly. "Elliot?" She positioned her hands over his large ones that rested gently against her stomach. "Doctor Michaels said that as long as my vitals remain stable and the results of my MRI are okay, I'll be able to go home tomorrow…discharged with strong antibiotics and bed rest for at least week. I still have to wear the stupid oxygen mask while I sleep here tonight though. I just want to get out of here and forget this whole mess."

"Me too, Liv. I know you feel like shit, but things will only get better from here." He held her tighter and smiled against her mussed hair.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Cori, again, I can't thank you enough! Hope everyone is enjoying this! Thanks to those who reviewed on here and through twitter. Comments make my day! **

Slowly heading up the staircase toward Olivia's apartment, Elliot tried to force his thoughts about Saunders down; instead focusing on guiding a fragile Olivia further toward her apartment. She stopped suddenly and heaved a deep breath before coughing.

"Easy, Liv…just take a second and breathe."

Leaning into Elliot, Olivia took a few breaths and gave him a soft smile. "Hell of a time for the elevator to be broken. Just need a break from climbing the stairs for a minute."

"Want me to carry you?" Elliot teased.

"Shut up, Stabler. It's not nice to pick on the weak and sickly."

Elliot chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "You haven't been weak a day in your life, Benson. Let's just sit here for a minute and when you're ready, we'll head upstairs."

Olivia's soft chuckle turned into another coughing fit. Once she'd calmed down and had taken a few more breaths, she responded. "Keep it moving, El." Her eyes twinkled playfully.

"Okay then tough guy, let's get you into your apartment and I'll make you some soup." Grabbing her by the hand, he started to head up the stairs again, but was stopped once more by her lack of movement. Elliot turned to see Olivia staring at him with a lazy half-smile on her face, her expression triggering a smile of his own. "What?"

Pulling him back to her, Olivia looked into Elliot's piercing blue eyes. "I never really thanked you, El. You saved my life and…just…thank you." She pressed her lips softly to his and he responded immediately, his hands running trails of comfort up and down her back. It was the first time in their tentative new quasi-relationship that Olivia had kissed him, and Elliot instantly felt a burning heat coursing throughout every inch of his body as his lips moved against hers. He desperately wanted to deepen the kiss and crush her body to his, but he knew she didn't feel well and taking things further would have to wait… for now.

Olivia pulled away after a long moment, flushed and breathing rapidly, and smiled up at Elliot playfully. Elliot ran a hand through her hair and embraced her gently. "I still can't believe I almost lost you, Liv," he breathed. He held her close for what seemed like an hour before clearing his throat and releasing Olivia from his arms. Taking a step back he smirked at her, breaking the moment and mentally switching gears, neither of them comfortable with emotional moments. "And you don't have to thank me. Besides, you would've done the same for me."

"That's what you think, Stabler. That water was _freezing_," she said with a wink.

Elliot chuckled and gave her a gentle tug in the direction of her apartment.

As they walked over the threshold, Elliot noticed a slip of paper that looked as if it had been crammed under the door. He reached down to pick it up and read one short sentence written in sloppy cursive.

"Next time you won't be so lucky," he read aloud. "What the-"

"I thought you said Saunders was arrested." Olivia snatched the crinkled paper from his hand, inspecting it for herself.

Drawing his gun, Elliot motioned for Olivia to wait in the hallway outside of the apartment as he cleared each room. He then reached for his phone and noticed that there were five missed calls from the station and three voice mails.

Shit.

**{EO}**

Fin hung up the phone and sighed loudly. "Stabler's freakin' out."

Munch rolled his eyes at his partner and Cragen. "What else is new?"

"Apparently there was a threatening note slipped under Liv's door when Elliot got her back to her apartment. I'm gonna have one of the guys over at the lab go pick it up to see if we can get any prints. It's gotta be Jake Saunders."

"Alright, well we have an officer heading to Olivia's building to provide a protective detail and we all know Elliot won't let her out of his sight either. Let's focus on finding this guy. Carl Saunders isn't giving up any more information on his brother or his whereabouts, so you two get out there and question this duo's family. We've located a sister living in Greenpoint and their mother lives in Astoria. Let's see what we can get." Cragen held the pink slip with the information out to Munch.

"We're on it." Munch took the slip of paper containing the addresses before heading over to grab his coat and hat.

The cold air assaulted Munch and Fin as they walked out of the precinct. Zipping up his coat, Fin glanced over at his partner as they headed toward the sedan. "We gotta find this bastard before Elliot gets involved…he'll kill the son of a bitch."

"Would that be such a bad thing," Munch quipped.

"It will be if he hurts the guy before we ever get any answers. This guy is after Liv, but who knows what else he's done and Stabler acting crazy isn't gonna help us any. You know how he is with Liv…he takes shit to another level whenever she's being threatened."

"You make a good point, my friend." Munch slid into the driver's side of the sedan and wondered how Olivia was managing with an overbearing Elliot.

**{EO}**

"Calm down El," Olivia warned, as she pulled the beige chenille throw blanket from the back of her couch and around her shoulders.

"Where the hell is Vasquez? He's supposed to be parked outside the entrance of your building by now." Elliot lifted the mini blinds as he scanned the street below for any signs of the officer.

"It's fine…I'm sure he's on his way and I have my own personal bodyguard right here." Olivia smirked at him as she patted a spot on the couch next to her. "Come on, let's just relax and watch the movie okay."

Elliot crossed the room to sit next to her on the couch. He placed his hand against the nape of her neck, his thumb stroking it gently. "How are you so relaxed right now? Not that I want you to panic, but you do realize the guy that did this to you is still out there right?"

"The drugs are helping," she yawned.

Elliot gave her a lopsided smile as he pulled the blanket tighter around her body. "Do you need anything?"

"Hmm so many ways I could answer that..." She snuggled against his side.

Well damn.

This was all so new. Elliot wasn't used to Olivia being affectionate or allowing him to take care of her, and he was especially not used to hearing her make innuendos…but he could get used to it. The right side of his body burned where Olivia was pressed against it. He ached to touch her everywhere and show her exactly how he felt about her- show her exactly what he could do for her. He wondered if her new attitude was really due to the medications or if she was just getting more comfortable in the relationship. Maybe the near death experience made her think more about what they had as well. Maybe she was finally starting to open up.

As excited as Elliot was by his thoughts of Olivia, a part of him was also furious. Furious at this Jake Saunders guy for making this time with her less than it could be. Every moment of closeness he had been enjoying with her was also tainted with worry that the asshole could strike at any moment - and as much as Elliot wanted to forget that little detail, he knew that he and Olivia wouldn't truly have any peace until Jake was behind bars.

Elliot shifted closer to her on the couch and breathed in the fresh, clean scent of Olivia's soft hair as he rested his chin atop her head. As he opened his mouth to respond to her last sleepy statement, he felt her even breaths against his neck. He hadn't slept since this whole ordeal began and he started to succumb to exhaustion himself, but was stopped by his phone buzzing in his pocket.

_I'm parked across the street in front of the building, so rest easy – Vasquez_

Feeling calmer now that he knew Olivia would be safe, Elliot finally allowed himself to drift off beside her.

**{EO}**

Hours later, Elliot startled awake at the sound of Olivia coughing violently. She was sitting in the kitchen with a steaming mug in front of her and a slip of crumpled paper in her hand. Hair disheveled, glassy eyes and flushed skin, she was also still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

"Hey, you alright?" He stretched his back, pushed himself off the couch, and made his way toward her, placing a hand against her forehead. "You feel a bit warm, Liv. Are you due for another dose of antibiotics yet?"

"Stop hovering, El…I'm fine. Get that through your head, okay." She threw the balled up piece of paper across the room and batted his hand from her head before making her way into the bathroom. Elliot stared in confusion as he heard the click of the lock.

Elliot bent down to pick up the crinkled, white paper and read to himself. "I see you need a baby-sitter. He's not going to stop me. Make him leave or he dies too."

"What the fuck?" Elliot asked to the empty room. Grabbing his gun, he swung open the apartment door and peered into the hallway. Nothing. He pulled out his Blackberry and dialed the number for Vasquez. "Hey, you see anything suspicious down there? Detective Benson just got another note under her door from the same guy. What the hell is going on Officer?"

"No, Detective Stabler. It's all been status quo. Nothing out of the ordinary and everyone that has been entering the building has either been buzzed in or opened the door by punching in the code. I'll canvas the building again and let you know if something is up."

"Thanks, Vasquez." Elliot exhaled harshly. "Do me a favor and radio Cragen about the new note. Also have him call me right away if there were any prints lifted off the original one."

"Will do."

Fuck. What was going on?

Sighing, Elliot turned, headed for the bathroom, and gently knocked on the door. "Liv…"

"Just go Elliot! I don't need a fucking baby-sitter okay?"

"Liv, stop…I saw the note. Just come out okay? Vasquez is canvassing the building. You're not going to get rid of me that easily."

Slowly opening the door, Olivia walked out, eyes gleaming with unshed tears, but a stoic expression etched across her features. "I can't drag you into this El. If you don't leave right now, I'll call Cragen and have him remove you."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks again to my Beta-love! LOL Reviews let me know if you are enjoying the story, so please keep 'em coming! :)**

"You don't mean that Liv…will you just sit down please? I'm going to get your pills." Elliot pulled Olivia over to the couch and forced her to sit, his large hands pushing down on her fragile shoulders. He was headed toward the kitchen to get her a glass of water when he heard her speak again; so quietly it was almost a whisper.

"Don't do this. You have to leave"

Elliot stopped in his tracks and furrowed his brow at Olivia, who was now slumped over on the couch and looking down at her feet. He turned back and knelt down in front of her, forcing Olivia to make eye contact. "Are you kidding me right now? This is fucking serious, Liv…you are really sick!"

Olivia's dark eyes were glazed over as they shifted, looking everywhere but at the man in front of her. "I don't need you," she said weakly.

"Yes, you fucking do…"

"It's not worth it, Elliot. Think of yourself and your kids. You're stupid to stay with me and get yourself killed, don't you get that?" Olivia's eyes began to tear up again as she pushed herself up from the couch and retreated to her bedroom, leaving Elliot standing there dumbfounded.

Screw this.

Taking a deep breath, Elliot followed her into the dark bedroom. Olivia was laying the fetal position with her back facing him; the only light in the room was sliding over her from between the mini blinds, casting a gentle, but choppy glow. He heard her attempt to stifle a cough as he sat beside her and gathered her into his arms- enveloping her with his strength and comfort.

She didn't fight him.

"I'm not leaving; the low timbre of his voice filled the silent room. So deal with it." He nuzzled his nose against her temple playfully.

"He's going to come after you too. It's not worth it…I'm not worth…"

"Now there's where you're wrong," he interrupted. "You are worth any risk to me, okay?"

Olivia stiffened in his arms for a brief moment, before she let herself melt into him. Let him absorb her worry and blanket her with his courage. She swallowed harshly and squeezed her eyes shut tightly. "I'm scared, El."

"I know, I…crap!" Elliot reached between their bodies and dug into his pocket for his vibrating Blackberry.

He glanced at the screen before answering. "Hey, Cap."

"Elliot, how's Olivia?" Captain Cragen's voiced boomed through the phone.

"She's fine…what's going on with Jake Saunders?"

"I need you to back up Munch. Fin is talking to the mother, but Munch is having a hard time locating the sister. We still don't have the forensics back on the note, but we have reason to believe that the sister may know Jake's whereabouts because Mom admitted to Munch that the two spent the weekend visiting. There are two locations Mom gave that she could be at the moment and I need you and Munch to investigate."

Elliot scribbled down the address where Munch was waiting for him on the notepad on Olivia's bedside table and hung up the phone.

"Got a lead?" Olivia sat up further in the bed as his grip around her loosened.

Stuffing the phone back into his pocket, Elliot pressed a soft kiss against her lips before getting out of the bed. "Looks like Munch needs help locating the sister who might know where Jake is. There are two possible locations so Cragen needs me to check out one while Munch goes to the other." He lightly traced his fingers along the side of her cheek and down her neck stopping at her clavicle and watching as tiny goose bumps formed atop her soft skin.

"Okay, I'm just going to take my medicine and try to go back to sleep for a bit."

"Let me grab your pills…just relax." Elliot went into the dim kitchen and filled a glass with cool water from the sink. He then grabbed the two pill bottles, one an antibiotic, the other a cough medicine with codeine, and placed them on the wooden night table beside Olivia.

"Thank you, El." Olivia sleepily sunk beneath the overstuffed down comforter on her queen sized bed.

"Hey, wait there sleepy," Elliot laughed. "Take these first." He took a pill from each bottle and placed them in her hand, then propped her pillows behind her to keep her elevated, and placed a quick kiss on her forehead. "Try to sleep…I'll be back soon."

**{EO}**

Jake Saunders stood flush against the door outside of his studio apartment. Finally his chance had come. Detective Stabler had gotten called in to locate his sister, who would be leading him and that other bony Detective on a wild goose chase to prevent them from finding him.

Cops…what a bunch of idiots.

He peered around his door and observed Elliot turn the corner down the hallway and make his way down the staircase. He then adjusted his black rimmed glasses with his index finger and impatiently cleared his throat.

He would have to wait. Wait until he was sure Elliot would not return any time soon. His sister would text him when the detectives found her, then he would seek out his revenge. Tiny beads of sweat began to form on his forehead as he pictured his plan playing out. Pictured getting revenge on the cops taunting his brother, revenge for them getting him locked up, and revenge for the way they had attempted to ruin his family's lives. His mother was right – it would only be a matter of time before he and his siblings made something great of themselves. Mother didn't care about how or why, as long as Jake and his siblings did something -anything -to make them stand out from the crowd, he knew she would be proud. He'd fucked up before, but now…now he would become famous. Just like his mother knew he would.

He would do it right this time. Leave no room for error. He smiled to himself. Yes, this time the only end result for Detective Benson would be death.

**{EO}**

Shortly after Elliot left, Olivia began to feel the effects of her medications, namely the codeine. She smiled to herself as she rubbed her face drowsily into her soft pillow. Elliot could be a huge pain in the ass, but she knew he only acted that way because he cared about her. Maybe even more than cared about her.

As much as she hated to admit it to herself, she knew she was falling in love with Elliot and had been for a while - although she would never be the one to tell him first of course. Olivia sighed and rolled her eyes at herself for being such a girl, then smiling softly, she pulled the comforter up to her ears and began to drift off to sleep, thoughts of a future with Elliot dancing throughout her mind.

_With a sexy smirk, Elliot lifted the faded blue t-shirt from his sculpted chest, and slowly lowered himself onto her waiting body. Olivia sighed as she felt his weight press her further into the plush mattress and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He trailed his hands up the sides of her tingling body and began to attack her neck with wet, open mouthed kisses and sensual nips. She moaned and arched into him, causing a low groan of his own to pass through his lips._

_Elliot reached up to pull her hands from his shoulders and lifted them above her head, gently pinning them into the pillows. His lips grazed her own and she raised her head to slip her tongue into his warm mouth. Exhaling harshly, Elliot began to roll his denim clad hips against her pelvis._

"_Elliot…God. Please." Olivia freed her hands to reach down between their bodies and quickly work the buckle of his belt._

_Elliot's breath hitched as her fingertips grazed the skin at his waistband and he began to knead her full breast, marveling at the way it perfectly filled his large, rough hand. _

"_Shit, Liv." He closed his lips over her peaked nipple, while holding her desire filled stare. The sharp inhale of her breath as he sucked and flicked over her caused him to groan as if he was in pain._

_Olivia had to have him inside her. She impatiently shoved his jeans over his hips and grabbed onto his ass, pressing him tighter against her body, both moaning with the skin on skin contact. She felt a rough hand slide over her clavicle and press up against her neck lightly._

"_Oh…now, El." She gasped as she felt him hard against her entrance. Instead of pushing into her however, he increased the pressure of his hand against her throat. _

_Tighter. His strong hand began to squeeze with deliberate intent around her throat and the expression on his face changed to one of anger._

"_Elliot?" She grasped at his wrist and tried to pull his hand from her as she began to choke for air._

"_Stop fighting me, bitch, and it'll all be over soon."_

Olivia woke suddenly from her dream to find herself struggling against the hands that were squeezing at her throat, closing off her windpipe-stealing her breath. Her lungs heaved with effort as she began to cough and choke.

"No…" The sound was weak and strangled, but Olivia wouldn't go out without a fight. Her vision was blurred and panic filled her body.

This could not be the way she died.

Using all of her strength coupled with the adrenaline she had coursing through her body, she kneed into his crotch relentlessly, even though he was pressed firmly on top of her, making the action difficult.

Suddenly she felt air fill her lungs again.

"Fuck, you bitch!" He was doubled over on the bedroom floor as Olivia sat up, gasping and coughing as she did.

Her eyes widened with surprise. "Jake, what are you doing in here? What the-" Suddenly it hit her. Jake. Jake from down the hall was Jake Saunders? Olivia had never seen a photo of Carl Saunders' brother and would never have suspected the seemingly kind and friendly man that lived down her hall for the past six months to be the person who had been trying to kill her.

"Shit!" Jake cursed, yelping again in pain as he stumbled out into her living room and out of her apartment. "Don't think this is over!"

"You'll never get away with this! Don't be stupid, Jake…just turn yourself in. You can't hide now!" Olivia's voice was strained from the effort it took to shout after him. She was still incredibly drowsy from the medications and was having difficulty catching her breath as she pushed herself out of the bed, landing on unsteady legs. Frustrated that she was unable to follow her assailant, she reached for her phone and saw there had been three missed calls from Elliot and one text message.

_Get out of the apartment now and stay with Vasquez! Just found out Jake lives in your building. I'm on my way –Elliot._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, kiddies, this chap is rated M ;) Thanks again to Cori and to all those who have taken the time to review! Hope you like this one! **

"Elliot, this is ridiculous. It's not like Jake is going to come back to my apartment for me. He can't be _that_ stupid." Olivia tiredly flopped down onto Elliot's second hand loveseat and watched him carry her duffle bag into the bedroom.

"We can't take any chances, Liv. It's just until they find him," Elliot yelled from the bedroom.

Members of the NYPD were staked out around Olivia's building and her apartment was being investigated as a crime scene. After much convincing, she'd reluctantly agreed to stay with Elliot until Jake was arrested. It's not that she didn't want to stay with him, but she didn't know how she was going to handle his hovering over her without losing her sanity.

Elliot entered the living room with a goofy grin on his face. "At least now we'll get to spend more time together and you don't have to recover on your own all day."

Olivia rolled her eyes, but her smile betrayed the irritated expression she was going for. "Like you were ever going to leave me alone anyway."

Sliding onto the couch beside her, Elliot held her chin, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip. "You really are a shitty patient, Benson." Threading his hands through her hair, he pressed his lips against hers softly.

Olivia chuckled into his mouth and cupped his face before pulling back from the kiss to cough repeatedly into her hand. She laughed harder at Elliot's disgusted expression. "Real sexy, huh?"

"I've never wanted you more," he deadpanned.

Olivia sighed dramatically and cleared her throat. "Anyway…I'm going to call the station for an update and then take a hot bath if that's okay with you."

Elliot's groin instantly tightened at the thought of a wet, soapy, naked Olivia relaxing in his bathtub.

Raising an eyebrow and glancing down at the bulge forming in his pants, Olivia smirked. "God, you're easy." She grabbed her cell phone and made her way into the bathroom leaving Elliot with his jaw hanging open.

Fuck. If he was this turned on just by a mental image alone, how the hell was he supposed to handle it if and when things moved forward between them? "Jesus, Stabler, it's not like you're fucking seventeen!" He mentally chastised himself. But this was _Olivia_. The object of his love and for even longer, his desire; and the thought of the heated bathwater playing against her soft curves as she ran her hands over her body to suds herself…shit. He had to calm the hell down…or perhaps he could test the waters a bit.

"Hey Liv, need any help?" He didn't even recognize his voice; it was something between a growl and a moan. Elliot heard the water turn on as he imagined Olivia stripping her clothes and tying her shoulder length hair up in a messy high pony tail. As the tub pooled with steaming water, she would dip her toe in to test the temperature, sending a shot of heat to radiate throughout her body. He wondered if her skin would peak with tiny goose bumps as she waited for the tub to fill.

"No, El…I'm on the phone with Munch!"

Ice water. It felt as though a bucket of ice water was dumped over his head hearing the name of his fellow detective.

"Okay…I'm going to make some popcorn and pick out a movie. Take your time." Elliot grumbled to himself as he made his way into the small kitchen, clambering around the cabinets to locate a large bowl and some microwave popcorn.

Almost an hour later, Olivia finally stepped into his living room, causing his mouth to run dry. Her hair was pulled up-edges damp, face scrubbed bare, her body wrapped in one of his thick, pale blue towels. Small droplets of water dripped from her hair and onto her shoulders, sliding between her breasts.

"Hey," his voice cracked. "Did you need something?"

She tightened the towel that hugged her body as she observed his heated stare. He made her feel awkward and exhilarated at the same time. "I, um," she swallowed thickly. "I couldn't find where you put my bag of clothes."

It was a lie. Complete bullshit. Olivia saw her duffle bag on the foot of his bed as she walked out of the bathroom, but after everything that had happened over the last few days she wanted him to see her. See her as an attractive woman and not as a sick and helpless victim. She needed to feel like she was strong again and she felt the strength and power seep into her pores as observed the expression on Elliot's face.

He wanted her.

She wanted him _and_ she wanted to forget. Forget all of the drama the past week had brought. Forget how helpless she had felt.

Olivia watched the rapid rise and fall of Elliot's broad chest as his gaze raked slowly up and down her body. She saw him licking his lips as his eyes met her own and she released a low whimper, much to her embarrassment.

"C'mere," he rumbled.

And she did. Like a magnet to a scrap of shining, hard metal, Olivia made her way onto his couch and pressed her damp body against his. She straddled Elliot's lap as she rubbed her breasts against his hard chest.

"How was your bath?" Elliot placed his hand on her hips and inhaled deeply, the clean scent of Olivia mixed with his soap filling his nostrils, making him dizzy.

"Was good…the guys have a lead on where Jake might be, but they still want me to hide out for a while. That okay with you?" She rolled her hips slowly against his erection.

"Yeah- that's good," he breathed. "What…what are you doing, Liv? Not that I'm complaining, but aren't you still feeling sick?" Elliot trailed his fingers up and down Olivia's back, causing her to shiver over him.

Olivia released a rush of air against his lips. "Yeah, El…not feeling so hot, but I just want to-just _need _to forget. Help me forget everything that's happening just for a little while…please. Okay?"

Elliot was done for. He wouldn't take advantage of her, but he'd be damned if he couldn't make her forget like she asked. He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her into a hungry kiss, causing a moan to release from her throat. His tongue quickly slipped between her parted lips to intertwine with her own and he pulled her bottom lip into his mouth before releasing the kiss; smirking at Olivia's look of surprise by his urgency. Olivia nuzzled her nose against him and hooked her arms under his to rest her hands on his shoulders, pulling him in tighter.

"Just relax, Liv…I'll take care of you," he said lowly in her ear. The sexy expression that painted her face at his words was enough to make him lose what little control he had left.

Eliot lifted Olivia off of his lap and laid her onto his loveseat as he hovered over her, grazing his lips against hers in a teasing kiss, but pulling away before she could respond. He lowered himself in front of the couch as he pushed the towel over Olivia's hips, causing her to shiver. Starting at the top of her foot, he trailed rough, urgent, kisses up her right leg, then her left, stopping at the inside of her thigh, where he sucked hard enough to leave a mark, making Olivia's breath hitched from the action. He deeply inhaled the scent between her parted thighs as his eyes, now a dark, midnight blue, met her own.

Olivia could have come just from the anticipation and the feral look on his face alone. Elliot began to trace his tongue over her hip bone and down the crevice where her thigh met her pubic bone, causing her to squirm from the tickling, pleasurable sensation.

"Okay?" Elliot looked at her through hooded eyelids.

Releasing a quick rush of air, she nodded down at him and bit her bottom lip, propping herself up a bit onto her forearms to watch as the tip of Elliot's tongue touched her softly, testing, tasting.

She then watched as he flattened his tongue and starting at her opening, slowly, slowly wiggled it up and over her clit. The room filled with the sounds of their labored breathing and suddenly Elliot roughly grabbed her hips, pulling her even closer and placed one of her long legs over his shoulder before he attacked.

All she could feel was his lips and his tongue, _God_ that tongue- swirling, licking, sucking at her most sensitive area, causing her body to hum with pleasure. "God, Elliot…ah, fuck!" She groaned and bucked against his lips.

He was relentless, his tongue flicked over and over directly on her swollen and throbbing clit as his fingers dug deeper into her hips. Olivia felt like she would jump out of her skin with the need to come and was brought even closer to the razor sharp edge when she heard Elliot's deep baritone rumbling against her.

"Liv, you taste so good…I want you to come for me. Now…_hard_."

It was too much.

Elliot's hot breath and commanding lips moving against her wetness were shooting vibrations of intense pleasure up throughout her body, the frequency of which only increased as he buried his face into her again and slipped a thick finger inside of her, curling it toward him once fully inside and rubbing her internally.

Inside. He was inside Olivia and his lungs were expelled of air. There she was laid out in front of him, writhing and moaning because of him. _For_ him. And he was about to make her come. His dick twitched in anticipation.

He must have reached an especially sensitive spot with either his finger or his ravenous tongue, because all of a sudden her body stiffened, flushed, then began to shiver. It was the most erotic thing he'd ever seen.

"Ohhh God, Ohhh God…Fuck!" Olivia shuddered violently against him as he continued to lap at her, to the point where she had to grab hold of his head to make him stop. "Elliot, unh…too sensitive. Oh my God." She panted against his temple as he lifted himself onto her on the couch and gently kissed her neck, calming her.

Chuckling lightly, he looked at her sated expression and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. "Good?"

She laughed loudly and shook her head in disbelief as she pulled him tightly against her, chest to chest. "Holy fuck, if knew you were capable of _that_, I would have jumped you a long time ago!"

He grinned at her and ducked his head almost shyly. _Shyly_, after what he had just done?

"God, Liv, I could watch you like that all day. I'm going to be walking around with a permanent hard on from now on with the image of you coming like that in my head."

"Mmm and now I'm going to have the image of _you_…doing what you just didwith _that tongue_ of yours all the time. God…" Olivia sighed harshly into his neck, the vibration tickling his skin.

Elliot chuckled again and turned to nip at her earlobe. "That was just a preview, Benson," he waggled his eyebrows at her playfully. "Just wait 'til you're feeling stronger again."

**{EO}**

Captain Cragen clenched his fists as he stared at the unmarked envelope before him. It had been three days since Olivia was attacked, for a second time, by Jake Saunders and he and his detectives still had no solid leads as to his whereabouts. It had been difficult enough to work the case without his best team, but now an entirely new facet to the investigation sat taunting him on his desk.

He slid the eight by ten glossy photograph from the envelope again. There they still were, Detectives Stabler and Benson kissing on a couch. Olivia's back was facing the camera and her face was covering Elliot's but sure as shit it was them.

Damnit.

On the back of the photo, one simple sentence was written in what looked like Jake Saunder's sloppy scrawl. _I'm still watching_.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: As always, a huge thank you to Cori for everything! Also, ****I'm going to ask that you all trust me here with this one ;) Don't forget to let me know what you think!**

It had been three days since Olivia had begun staying at Elliot's apartment and she was finally starting to feel more like herself. She wasn't coughing nearly as much and was breathing easier and although she still tired easily, she was getting stronger by the day thanks to the antibiotics, much needed rest, and -as much as she hated to admit it- Elliot's care.

She had been taking yet another nap on the couch when a call from Cragen woke her from a drug hazed sleep. Upon hearing the Captain's booming voice floating through the ear piece, she realized any hope of ever getting back to that nap was shattered.

"Did you hear me, Olivia?" Cragen shouted as Olivia sat up on the uncomfortable love seat.

"Yes, Cap…get Elliot and bring my ass to the precinct," she repeated, confused.

"Right now and that's an order, Detective."

What the fuck?

Olivia yawned as she hung up the phone and dialed Elliot's number. She had no clue what had Cragen so bent out of shape and she really wasn't in the mood to deal with his wrath.

**{EO}**

Elliot and Olivia exchanged anxious glances as they waited outside of Cragen's door. On the car ride over to the precinct they'd wracked their brains trying to figure out what they could have possibly done this time, and coming up with nothing, they'd assumed he wanted to see them because of a break in the case.

They were both startled from their thoughts as the door shot open, an angry looking Cragen and a smug Tucker standing before them.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Tucker was waving an unmarked manila envelope in front of their faces. "Okay Detectives, care to explain this?"

Elliot snatched the envelope from the other man's hand and pulled out the contents. When he saw the picture before him, he felt as though his heart had stopped in his chest. "Where'd you get this?"

"That's not your concern, Stabler. My question is what exactly is going on here? Looks like you and Benson have been a little too cozy. Can't really say I'm surprised, but I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to get yourselves caught or for Olivia to practically get you killed by involving you in this." Tucker smirked as he eyed Olivia.

Olivia felt her legs start to give out beneath her. Leaning on Elliot for support, she tried to remain indifferent. "It's not what you think…" she began, her voice weak. In her mind though, she knew Tucker was right. She had been selfish by allowing Elliot to get so caught up with her own problems.

"Listen, Tucker –" Elliot lifted his chin and stepped closer, wishing he could punch the jerk for offending and agitating Olivia.

Cragen stepped in, seeing that Elliot was about to pounce and Olivia was starting to fade out. "Then explain to us what exactly is happening here, Olivia." He directed softly, leading a dejected looking Olivia into the office and onto his chair.

Olivia rested her head against the back of the chair and tried to center herself in the spinning room. "…just happened once, Cap…was nothing."

Elliot stared on in disbelief. How the hell was there a picture of the two of them from that amazing evening three days ago? Obviously it was Jake Saunders, but how the hell did he get that close? How the hell did he know what was going on between him and Olivia?

Elliot's breaths began to come faster and faster. They would lose their jobs…their pensions…their partnership.

And for what?

Yes, having the chance to be with Olivia was worth losing it all, but seeing her looking unsure and so distraught did him in.

He would have to let go. Olivia seemed to want to hide the relationship and Elliot had his children to think about. If he lost his job, how would he support them? His head spun with worry and questions as he looked over at Olivia's rumpled form, slumped down into the Captain's chair. She glanced at him briefly before staring back down at her feet.

Guilty. She didn't think this was worth it. He would have to be the one to walk away.

He realized now that they'd been so excited at the prospect of being together - and the newness of the relationship- that they hadn't truly thought things through. They both had been cocky enough to believe they wouldn't get caught before they figured things out and now the issue was being forced.

Both Cragen and Tucker were now staring at him waiting for him to speak. He swallowed harshly and cleared his throat. "Yeah, it was just the one time…the one kiss. It won't happen again."

Olivia's head jerked up in his direction and their eyes met for a long moment. She looked like he felt…ill.

Cragen looked back and forth between the two before releasing a sigh. "Is this going to affect your job performance?"

Elliot and Olivia shook their heads, neither making eye contact with one another or Cragen.

"If you can give me your word that this was a one-time thing, we won't have to separate you two. We all know mistakes happen, but this is your only get out of jail free card regarding this, do you both understand me?"

"Yeah, Cap. It was just one mistake," Olivia said as she blinked back tears.

**{EO}**

Cragen sent them home after briefing them on the latest news regarding the case. He told them that protective details in unmarked vehicles would be surrounding Elliot's apartment building now as well, in the hopes of catching Jake Saunders in the act. Elliot and Olivia hadn't argued with Cragen – they had no fight left.

The ride home was spent in awkward silence.

Halfway to the apartment, Elliot reached over to place a hand on the nape of Olivia's neck, rubbing his thumb against it soothingly as she smiled at him sadly. She leaned into his hand and squeezed his right thigh as he turned away to stare at the road ahead.

Neither of them knew how to start the inevitable discussion regarding their future together.

As they entered the apartment, Elliot flopped down onto his couch and slumped over. He was leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.

"This is so fucked up," he mumbled.

Olivia's eyes stung with tears and her throat was clogged. She simply nodded in agreement and sunk down onto the floor in front of Elliot, placing her hands over his knees. She took a deep breath to calm herself before speaking, needing to be reasonable. She couldn't let him lose everything for her. "We didn't think it through, El…it's probably for the best right now. We can't lose our jobs over this…we haven't even talked about making any type of commitment to each other or anything..."

"How could you say that?" Elliot narrowed his eyes at her and pushed himself off of the couch, stepping around Olivia and heading into the messy kitchen to grab a cold beer from his refrigerator.

"Elliot," she whispered, still kneeling on the floor in front of the couch.

"Hey, look," Elliot began as he turned toward her, twisted off the cap, and took a swig of his beer. "Maybe you were right when you said you didn't need me the other day, you know? Maybe we just tried to force a relationship because we're attracted to each other…needed to scratch an itch that'd been building for a while now. It was probably just a _mistake_ like you told Cragen."

"Shut up," she breathed. Olivia stood up and got so close to Elliot that their noses almost touched. She felt his heated breath against her lips. "You know that's not what this is about."

He had to turn his back to her or he would do something stupid, like grab and kiss her. Elliot's shoulders lowered in defeat. "I don't know what to think anymore, Liv. I can't risk everything I have for someone who doesn't think it's worth fighting for...for someone who got off and now wants to move on! Also, it's not just me I have to think about…I can't afford to be selfish here. Some of us have other responsibilities."

"Fuck you!" Olivia grabbed him and harshly spun him around to face her. "Fuck you, Elliot!" She shouted as she poked her index finger into his chest. She angrily made her way through the apartment, gathering her things and stuffing them in her duffle bag. "Damn you for insinuating that I'm selfish and fuck you for saying that all we had was about sex! We've never even _had_ sex, you bastard!" She slung her bag over her shoulder as she headed for the door. As she placed her hand on the door knob, her breath hitched with emotion and she paused, chancing a look back at Elliot. She wanted to slap him or at least slam the door in his face, but there he was staring back at her - his eyes filled with hurt -making her feel weak.

Taking a few steps toward her, Elliot dropped his head and sighed in frustration. He placed his hand over hers on the door knob and breathed into the back of her hair. She tried to pull away, but he tightened his grip. "Liv, please…please don't do this." He smacked his open palm flat against the door beside them in frustration, startling them both, then released a rush of air and spoke lowly into her ear. "I fucking love you, you know."

Olivia shivered as her eyes filled with unshed tears. She turned her head to look up at Elliot, his eyes meeting her own for a quick moment before she looked away. "I fucking love you too." She wanted to laugh and scream at the same time. "But we both know I have to go."

Elliot nodded and gave her hand a quick squeeze before he released it. "Then go."

As he watched the door close behind her, his knees weakened as he stumbled to the couch.

He already missed her.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks again to Cori, as always…my super beta! LOL I had a bit of writer's block with this chap, so sorry for the long delay. Hope you like it and let me know what you think! :)**

After she left Elliot's apartment, Olivia found herself wandering around the city fighting back tears. She couldn't go back to her place as it was still being processed as a crime scene and Saunders was still nowhere to be found. Olivia had nowhere else to go. She ended up sneaking into the precinct, hoping not to run in to any of her coworkers. She had almost made her way into the cribs free and clear when she literally ran into Munch.

"Shit!" She yelped, dropping her duffle bag.

"Liv, what are you doing here? Didn't Cap send you and Elliot home?" Munch eyed her suspiciously over his dark glasses as he bent down to retrieve her bag.

She grabbed the bag from his hand and pushed him toward the cribs. "Look, Munch, you never saw me okay? Elliot and I had words and I have nowhere else to go. I'm still not feeling one hundred percent and I just want to sleep." Olivia knew she sounded desperate, but was in no mood to debate anything at the moment.

"Okay, Liv, relax. Do you need anything?" Munch placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Thanks, but I'll be fine after I just get some rest." She gave him a halfhearted smile and entered the room, closing the door behind her.

Olivia had been laying in the dark crib for the past few hours, staring up the ceiling. Only the faint light of a nearby lamppost shone through the window to her left and she watched the shadows dance around the room. She couldn't sleep, but she was exhausted.

They had admitted they loved each other. _Finally_. But they couldn't be together without losing their jobs.

Fucking Saunders. The loser had to enter their lives just as they were learning how to let one another in. Olivia couldn't wait for the guys to catch the prick…she had a few choice words she needed to get off her chest.

Asshole.

At the same time, Olivia thought if it wasn't for the Saunders brothers coming into her life, she would still be trying to resist the depth of her feelings for Elliot.

Shit, she hated the bastards but should probably be thanking them as well.

Olivia sighed and rolled over onto her side, rustling the scratchy blanket on the lumpy twin sized mattress. She missed the warmth and comfort of Elliot's cozy, king sized bed. She missed the warmth and comfort of Elliot's arms wrapped around her while she slept even more…his hard body pressed against her as their tortured breaths filled the bedroom. It had taken all the strength they had to resist one another when they were together, but they both knew she wasn't ready for vigorous activity with her lingering pneumonia symptoms and there was no way their first time together was going to be soft and gentle.

Olivia groaned and buried herself into the small, smelly pillow as she cursed Saunders some more in her head. How the hell was she supposed to go back to being just Elliot's partner after everything that had happened? She swallowed harshly over the lump forming in her throat, holding back her tears again.

**{EO}**

The next morning Elliot made his way into the precinct looking disheveled and lost. He had tossed and turned the entire night trying to figure out how to fix the situation with Olivia and keep their jobs at the same time. Coming up empty, he finally got out of bed and drove to the one-six, arriving early at 6am.

Elliot trudged his way over to the coffee machine and grabbed his and Olivia's mugs off their pegs. He filled them both to the brim before realizing his error and pouring the steaming, mocha liquid from Olivia's cup down the drain. Sighing tiredly, he glanced around the squad room and saw that Munch was asleep at his desk. His glasses were off and placed beside him and his left cheek was pressed against the blotter in front of his computer. Chuckling for the first time in the past two days, Elliot shook his head and nudged Munch with his free hand.

Munch jerked upright in his chair as he shouted, startled, "I'm on it, Cap!"

Elliot smirked at him as he sat at his desk and took a sip from his mug. "Did you even go home last night, Munch?"

Munch eyed his surrounding with confusion before putting his glasses on and rolling his neck. "What time is it?"

"A little after six. Everything all right?"

"Yeah…just worked late on a case and must've fallen asleep." Munch's eyes darted to the stairs leading to the cribs. He had stayed late last night in case Olivia wanted to talk and ended up falling asleep at his desk.

Always the detective, Elliot noticed the quick glance Munch made in the direction of the cribs and his fidgety movements. "Okay…" he furrowed his brow as he glanced over his shoulder at the stairs. "I think I'm going to head up to the cribs and try to catch a half hour of sleep before everyone gets in. It was a rough night and –"

"El-" Munch sighed loudly and raised his hands in defeat. "Never mind. Get some rest."

Taking the steps two at a time, Elliot sprinted up the stairs. He knew she was here. He had been worrying about where she ended up all night and must have called her at least ten times to make sure she was okay, but her phone would continuously go straight to voice mail.

Catching his breath, Elliot swung open the crib door and scanned the dim room before his gaze landed on her sleeping form. She was lying on her back with one arm up next to her head, the other tucked under the blanket at her side. Her cheeks were tear stained and it made his heart clench. She was breathing softly through parted lips and he approached her quietly.

"Liv," he whispered as he traced his index finger down the side of her face.

Olivia stirred and her eyelashes fluttered, but her eyes did not open. "Hmmm?"

Elliot smiled pulled down the blanket, sliding in against her body, enveloping her in his arms. "I'm sorry, he said against her temple. I love you."

"I love you," Olivia mumbled sleepily.

Elliot gripped her tighter and knew at that moment that they _had_ to find a way to make this work, despite their jobs. He could never give this up so easily.

Breathing in her scent, he smiled into her hair. "Come back to my place tonight."

Olivia stiffened in his arms and finally opened her red rimmed eyes to meet his own. "Elliot, I really don't think-"

"I'll sleep on the couch. I just don't want you staying here when you have a warm, comfortable bed to sleep in at my apartment." He kissed her cheek and ran his hand down her arm to settle at her waist under the blanket. "I know we have a lot to figure out and that we may not even be able to work this out, but…Liv, I just won't feel okay until I know you are safe with me."

Olivia swallowed the lump forming in her throat and placed her hand over his at her waist. "This is never going to work, El. Cragen…"

"Look, Liv, I know what Cragen said and I know what we talked about last night, but we can be adult about this. I mean, you are still sick and you can't go home while Saunders is still out there. I'm not letting you stay in the fucking cribs so quit being stubborn and let me be there for you!"

"Not letting me?" Olivia sat up, untangling herself from Elliot's grasp. "Listen, El, just because we tried to date doesn't mean you have any say over what I do, so I'm not sure who you think you're talking to right now!"

Elliot stood up and began to pace the floor next to Olivia's bed. "Fine, Liv, have it _your_ way. Stay here in the cribs, alone, until Saunders is caught. Let's see how that works out for you."

Elliot swung the crib door open and was about to walk out when her heard her whisper.

"El…"

"Be at my apartment at seven tonight," he said with a wink before walking out of the room and leaving Olivia to flop back down on the bed in defeat.

**{EO}**

Smiling sardonically to himself, Jake Saunders thought back to earlier when he had watched from across the street as Detective Benson walked aimlessly up the precinct stairs, looking a bit like a pathetic lost puppy. Smart girl, he thought…but he was smarter. He was every bit aware of the drama and fear he incited for her and Detective Stabler, and the feeling made his chest puff out with pride. Using his middle finger to adjust his glasses between his eyes, he watched as his heavy breaths created small puffs of smoke into the cold night. He had been sitting in his car in a crowded parking lot across from the precinct all day since Olivia arrived.

Yes, Benson may have retreated to where she assumed was a safe haven, but what she didn't know was that he knew people. Knew people on the inside. People that owed him. In particular, an Officer Jenner who sought Saunders out to "take care" of someone who had been abusing his sister. At the time Saunders had told him not to worry about payment, that one day he would help him as well…and if he didn't, the entire NYPD would know what he had done.

Yes, Benson was not so smart after all.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Lots going on in this one folks! Hope you enjoy! Thanks again to all who reviewed and to Cori for the Beta!**

"This was a bad idea, El." Olivia had been sitting on Elliot's loveseat sipping a mug of tea while watching him bent over tinkering around in the kitchen. How the hell was she supposed to survive such torture? Her attraction for Elliot had multiplied since she now knew she should not be touching him and should not be thinking that her job could go fuck itself if she could just get him inside her. She sucked in a deep breath and restrained herself from pouncing on him.

Elliot, still bent over, glanced over his shoulder at her and noticed Olivia's seductive perusal of his rear view. Smirking, he straightened, but didn't turn toward her. He began to unbutton his shirt and slowly shucked it off, placing it over a chair from in his mismatched dining table set. Feigning an exaggerated yawn, he raised his arms over his head and stretched, the muscles in his back and shoulders flexing through his thin white undershirt. He chuckled lightly when he heard a faint whimper coming from the direction of his living room where he knew Olivia was watching.

"Elliot…"

"What's wrong, Liv?" He turned around and widened his stance, crossing his arms over his broad chest. He wanted to burst out laughing at the look on her face. Olivia's lips were parted and damp as though she just swiped her tongue over them. Her chest was heaving and her eyelids were heavy with desire.

Elliot Stabler was no stranger to receiving the more than occasional look by both men and women, but at this particular moment, he felt like a piece of meat. And he was eating it up.

Walking over to Olivia with a swagger in his step, he knelt down before her and skimmed his thumb over her bottom lip. "You're drooling, Liv."

Yup, he was a cocky asshole and he knew it.

Olivia's eyes widened in surprise, her expression then changing to one of embarrassment and annoyance. "You're a real jackass sometimes, you know that Stabler?" She pushed him over causing him to lose his balance and fall onto his ass on the plush carpet.

"Yeah, but you love it," he laughed as he pulled her on top of him onto the floor.

"We can't do this El. This is too fucking hard…"

"Speaking of hard –"

"El! I'm serious…I don't think I should stay here. How are we supposed to go back to just being partners now after everything that's happened between us? Staying here is just…I just don't think I can handle it right now." She ran a hand through her hair in frustration and rolled off of Elliot to stand. She ignored his request to stay and talk to him and made her way into his bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Elliot rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and released a frustrated breath. She was right. This wasn't a joke and their situation wasn't funny. In fact it was the opposite of funny. It fucking sucked. And he didn't know how to handle it at the moment.

**{EO}**

After having yet another emotionally exhausting conversation with Elliot, Olivia had borrowed his jeep to take a drive out to her apartment to grab some of her things. Even though Elliot had tried to insist on going with her, she convinced him to leave her to be alone, though reluctantly, with her thoughts for just a short while. On the way over to her place, she received a call from Officer Jenner asking her to meet him at Saunders' apartment to go over some new evidence that had been uncovered earlier that day. Though finding it somewhat strange that she got the call from an officer in the department rather than Cragen, Munch, or Fin, she shoved down the uneasy feeling and pulled into her parking garage. She figured she was just being overly cautious and her emotions were on high after all that happened.

As she turned the corner onto his floor, Olivia saw Officer Jenner standing just outside Saunders' apartment door. He looked nervous with his eyes filled with apology. She furrowed her brow at him and went to grab for her gun, forgetting she left it at Elliot's place.

"Officer, what did you need to show me?" Olivia eyed him guardedly.

"Um, right in here, Detective." Officer Jenner led Olivia into the dim apartment by the arm. "Looks like Saunders had a copy of your apartment key made somehow and…"

"That's impossible, I –No!" Olivia yelled out as Jake Saunders grabbed her by the hair and slammed the apartment door shut, dragging her further into the room.

"So we meet again," he sneered. Saunders then turned to look at his accomplice and curled his lips into an evil grin. "Thank you Jenner, but we won't be needing you any longer." And with that he shot the officer three times in the chest.

"Oh God!" Olivia cried as Saunders pressed the cold metal roughly against her throat. Her heart was racing and she couldn't catch her breath. Nobody knew where she was and she didn't have her weapon. "Jake, please," she began.

"Jake please," he mimicked, laughing. "I've had enough of your shit, Olivia. You think you're so fucking smart and look how easy it was to get you here. Fucking pathetic excuse for a detective if you ask me," he chuckled into her hair before inhaling her scent.

"Jake –"

"Shut up! Shut the hell up!" Saunders yanked harder on Olivia's hair causing her to whimper in pain. "It's over. You'll never fuck with my family again."

The next thing Olivia heard was the click of the safety on Saunders gun. She squeezed her eyes tightly closed and then she felt the impact.

"Fuck!" Saunders growled into her face as they tumbled to the ground.

"Detective, are you hurt?" Officer Daniels asked as he pulled Saunders off of Olivia and began to cuff him.

What the hell had just happened?

Olivia gasped for air and stared up at the Officer in confusion before realizing that he was the protective detail Cragen sent for. She looked down inspecting her body and saw that she was fine, then glared at Saunders who was rubbing his neck and muttering curses. The protective detail had apparently tazered him then yanked him off of her when they dropped.

Olivia stood up and straightened her clothing before responding. "No, I'm okay. Thank you, Officer. I just need to do one thing."

She was lucky to be alive, but also fucking furious.

"No problem, what do you –"

"Son of a bitch!" Saunders yelled as Olivia's fist connected with his jaw.

"Have fun in prison with your brother. You two should be real popular." Olivia rubbed her throbbing fist with her other hand as Officer Daniels smirked and dragged Saunders out of the apartment.

As she leaned over to check to see if Officer Jenner had a pulse and finding none, Olivia heard an ambulance and police sirens.

It was over. Finally over.

She reached into her jacket pocked for her phone to call Elliot just as he came rushing in.

"Liv!" Elliot grabbed her shoulders and looked her up and down, checking her for injuries.

"I'm okay, El," she said, pulling him into a tight embrace. "We finally got the bastard."

**{EO}**

"Liv, I really don't think you should be alone tonight. That guy tried to kill you…again! You can't possibly be okay right now."

Olivia looked up from packing her duffle bag yet again. "El, I'm fine. He's in jail and I really should get back to my apartment. We both know this can't happen." She motioned between the two of them before zipping her bag shut and slinging it over her shoulder.

"Then let me stay with you tonight. You know you get nightmares after rough cases and I know you're not really going to get any sleep anyway, so let me come over. Whether or not we can be together as a couple, I will still always want to be there for you as a friend, okay?" He walked over to her and skimmed his fingers down her arm, feeling her shiver beneath him.

"I don't know if I can do this. Please try to understand –"

"Fuck that, Liv! I do understand, but I'm trying to salvage something here. I have no fucking clue how I'm supposed push down how I feel about you, but I have to. _We_ have to. But, we still work together and it's insane to throw away a thirteen year partnership and friendship just because we got caught kissing!"

"Elliot," she sighed. "Okay, you can stay tonight. Just tonight."

Elliot squeezed her arm and smiled. "Okay."

"Okay."

Relief was the overriding emotion Elliot felt. Olivia was safe and allowing him to stay the night. The rest could be dealt with later.

As he lay on her uncomfortable pull out couch though, he looked over at her bedroom door. The ache in his chest hadn't left since the day Cragen called them into his office, changing the direction of their relationship.

Part of him wanted to take the chance and go forward with Olivia, consequences be damned. But the more realistic part knew nothing was ever quite that simple. If he ever lost his job for defying Cragen and IAB, he would never forgive himself. He had five very good reasons as to why he couldn't be so reckless. Nothing and no one would ever come before Elliot's children. He either had to let Olivia go or find a way to keep both her and the job.

He was fucked.

Elliot was startled from his thoughts when Olivia opened her bedroom door and leaned against the doorjamb, meeting his gaze.

"Nightmare?" He smiled sadly at her.

She stared at him for a long moment before nodding and slowly sliding onto the pullout, pressing her body against his. "Can't fall back asleep." She nuzzled her nose against his neck causing him to shiver.

"Liv, what are you doing?"

"Nothing," she whispered as she placed one leg between his own, rubbing him intimately.

Elliot swallowed hard. "Doesn't feel like nothing." He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he stifled the groan building up within his body.

"If we can't be together anymore…I, I just need to know what it would be like, feel like. Just this once." She straddled his hips and ground against him causing them both to moan into the darkness. "Don't you want to know?"

"God, Liv, 'course I do." Elliot pulled her down to crush their lips together. He knew it was wrong as he slipped his tongue between her lips. Knew it was wrong as ran his rough hands under her top to dig into her back. Knew it was wrong as she scratched her nails against his scalp and continued to writhe above him in a way that made him want to explode.

One of them had to be strong.

Suddenly, Elliot's hands gripped Olivia's waist, halting her actions. He pulled back from the kiss, gasping for air. His body was burning and his heart was pounding so hard, he was sure she could hear it. But still, it had to stop. "Fuck. We can't do this now, Liv."

"But –"

"No! Damn you for putting me in this situation after everything we talked about. Maybe you're right…maybe I should head back home." His stomach clenched at his own words, knowing he was being hurtful, but also knowing it needed to be said. They had to make a choice and since neither would risk their jobs or partnership, any hope for a relationship had to be out.

He was in Hell.

Olivia climbed off of him and sat down beside him on the mattress. "Then go," she said so quietly he barely heard her.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: My super-beta deserves a cape! And thanks to Lauren for getting Tucker back into this mess! LOL To all those reading, I appreciate reviews more than you realize, so keep them coming por favor! :)**

"Fuck, Olivia…I can't keep doing this! I need to think." Elliot stood from the pull out couch and began to pace around Olivia's living room. She watched his face, illuminated in the moonlight, his chiseled features causing her breath to catch in her chest. She knew everything was a mess and knew the only thing that made sense was to let him go, but…she couldn't. She wouldn't.

Damn, love sucked sometimes.

As much as she tried to resist him, Olivia could not separate herself from Elliot. He made her feel irresponsible. Reckless. The emotion and fire he ignited in her was beyond anything she could compare.

But her job. Her job was her life. It was what she was born to do. Could she give that up for him? For anyone?

The piercing gaze of his bright blue eyes met her own, causing her to soften. "El –" Olivia grabbed his arm, pulling him back toward the couch. Elliot allowed himself to drop back down onto the thin mattress. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her body against his and sliding onto his lap. "I don't know what to say to make this all okay."

Elliot exhaled into her hair, causing the soft strands to shift around her temple. "I know, Liv. I don't either." He enveloped her into a warm embrace, pulling her even tighter against him. "Unfortunately what we want and what we can have are two different things." He gripped the hair at the nape of her neck and pressed his lips against hers once again. As the kiss deepened, he tasted the salt of her tears on the tip of his tongue before pulling away.

Elliot brushed his thumb over the apple of her cheek and smiled sadly. "I should go."

"I know."

**{EO}**

Olivia was in no way looking forward to her first day back at work. With Elliot. The man she loved for years, but could never have even now.

Fuck her life.

She procrastinated getting out of bed. Procrastinated taking her shower. Procrastinated heading to the precinct. She dreaded having to sit across from him, work beside him, and pretend as though nothing had changed.

He walked in looking like a man on a mission, heading right into Cragen's office without stopping at their desks first. His jaw was set, fists balled at his sides, as he glanced at her briefly before knocking on the door.

She couldn't read him…a feeling she rarely had, but hated nonetheless. Cragen called for him to enter and then he disappeared behind the wooden door.

Twenty minutes later, Elliot emerged looking as downtrodden and exhausted as Olivia felt. He hung his coat and kept his eyes trained on her own as he walked over to his desk. She had to look away from the intensity of his stare. As she began to type up a DD5, she offered an overly casual "hey" as he sat down before her.

Elliot's brow furrowed inquisitively at her attitude before he spoke. "We need to talk."

Her breath hitched as she raised her eyes to meet his. "El, this isn't the time or the place…"

"At lunch. We'll go to the diner down the block, okay?" He gave her the look that she could never refuse.

"Yeah. Okay."

They worked all morning with the air between them filled with a palpable tension. Avoiding any further eye contact, Olivia must have glanced at her wristwatch a dozen times until it was one o' clock. Elliot cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at her. "Ready?"

She exhaled as though she had been holding her breath for a long time. "Let's go."

**{EO}**

The diner was bustling and overcrowded with people on their lunch breaks, but Elliot and Olivia managed to snag a booth tucked away in the back of the brightly lit room. Shifting uncomfortably on the cracked, vinyl seat, Elliot opened his mouth to speak for the first time since they left the precinct, only to be interrupted by their usual waitress, Peggy.

"Hey, hun, the usual?" Peggy was an attractive woman in her late fifties that always made it quite clear that she had a bit of a "thing" for Elliot. She only addressed him whenever he was there; ignoring whomever else he happened to be sitting with. Olivia found it amusing normally, but at the moment, she found it nothing short of irritating.

"Hi, Peg…yeah, the usual for me." Elliot smiled brightly at her as he motioned toward Olivia. "How about you, Liv?"

Olivia narrowed her eyes at both Elliot and Peggy before answering. "Just coffee and the turkey club for me."

Peggy continued to look at Elliot as she scribbled down Olivia's order without paying attention to what she was writing. "Okay, sweetie. Be right back with your order." She twirled her auburn hair around her index finger and smiled back at Elliot flirtatiously before heading off to the kitchen to place their orders.

Elliot's grin faded as his eyes landed on Olivia's sour expression. "What?"

"Really?"

"Come on, Liv. It's just Peggy being Peggy," he chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"I'm just not in the mood today, okay?" Olivia crossed her arms over her chest and sat back in the booth, looking a bit like a petulant child. "What did you want to talk about?"

Elliot sighed and stood up to slide into the booth beside her. "Liv," he breathed into her ear sending chills down her spine. "I talked to Cragen…asked him if there was any way we could work something out so that we could still work together and explore a relationship. He –"

"Have you lost your damn mind, Elliot?" She shouted and sat up straight, scooting away from him, garnering attention from more than a few fellow patrons.

"Fuck, Liv, my eardrum!"

"Fuck your eardrum! What the hell were you thinking? What did Cragen even say?"

"Calm down, will you? He suggested the three of us talk to Tucker about working something out on a trial basis to start. He needs us to prove that a personal relationship won't affect our work in the field. Did you know that there is no actual formal written rule anywhere saying that partners can't date? It's just frowned upon…"

"Oh my God, El…this is a huge mess! How could you not talk to me about this first? Maybe I'm not willing to chance this, have you ever thought of that?"

"Lover's quarrel?" Tucker's voice startled them both, their heads whipping to the right to see the smug looking Sergeant smirking at them.

Shit.

Elliot scrambled up from his seat, standing in front of Tucker, chin tilted forward. "Back off, Tucker."

"Now here I thought you'd invite me to join you for lunch, but I see you've decided to be your usual pleasant self." Tucker, not intimidated, took a step closer to Elliot, further antagonizing the situation. "Didn't I warn you two? Obviously you can't keep your hands off each other during work hours…"

"This is none of your business," Elliot growled as he widened his stance, starting down at the IAB prick.

"Oh, but I think it is, Stabler. Your Captain called me in for a meeting with you two, scheduled for two o'clock. I just was grabbing a sandwich to go before I headed over to the precinct. I'm guessing this meeting has something to do with your inability to keep it in your pants?" Tucker smirked again as he eyed the detectives.

"You have no fucking clue what you're talking about." As Elliot made a move to step even closer, practically placing him and Tucker nose to nose, Olivia grabbed his arm, halting the action.

"It's not worth it, El," she whispered into his ear while giving Tucker a dirty look. "Let's just go." Olivia threw some cash onto the table and proceeded to drag a reluctant Elliot out of the diner.

Once they were outside, she released his arm and began to walk briskly ahead of him, tossing over her shoulder a short, "I can't believe this!"

"Slow down, Liv and just talk to me will you? No shouting or arguing. We have to deal with this before we see Cragen again." He jogged to catch up to her and grabbed onto her wrist, slowing down her pace.

"I just can't believe you put me…us in this situation. There's no going back if we tell Cragen and Tucker everything; do you realize that? There is a huge chance that we will lose our partnership, possibly get written up if we let this affect our work, and possibly lose each other in the whole process! Did you think about all of this Elliot? Did you think about what would happen if you got transferred to a department with less overtime or that's even further from your kids? What about –"

Elliot silenced her with his mouth on hers. They were standing in the middle of the sidewalk as pedestrians bumped into them, some suggesting they get a room. He didn't care. He only saw Olivia. Cupping her head, he smiled against her lips as he felt her stop resisting, allowing her lips to move against his own. Finally he tore himself away from the heat of her body, the softness of her full lips.

"Do you love me?"

She was breathless. "You know I do Elliot, but that's not always enough."

"It can be. We can at least try and see what Tucker and Cragen say before making any drastic decisions. How can you just let this go so easily?"

"This is anything but easy for me, El." Olivia scrubbed her hand over her face in frustration. "What changed your mind?"

He wrapped his arm around her waist, resting his hand low on her hip as they began to walk again. He pulled her as tight against him as possible without causing her stride to falter. "This. You. I can't imagine never having it again."

Releasing a shuddering breath, she looked up at him, the corner of her mouth lifting ever so slightly. "Okay…let's do this. Let's talk to Cragen and Tucker."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed! You are awesome! This is a short-ish chap, but hope you like it!**

Anxiety, fear, and frustration were the emotions rolling through Elliot's body as Captain Cragen called him and Olivia into his office. Two o'clock had come faster than he would have liked and as certain as he was about his feeling for Olivia, he was now beginning to doubt his rash decision to request a meeting with IAB.

Olivia looked as though she swallowed a bug as their names were bellowed once again by Sergeant Tucker. Elliot gave her a quick nod of encouragement as they stood up from their seats.

No turning back now.

"Have a seat, detectives." Cragen appeared weary as he motioned to the chairs in front of his desk. "I can't say I'm completely surprised this day has come, but to be honest I'm disappointed about the decisions we are now forced to make."

Elliot shifted in his chair as he glanced over at Olivia who was staring blankly at her shoes. "Listen, Cap –"

"No, _you_ listen. This is not another one of your screw ups that you can just talk your way out of, understood?" The detectives nodded in unison as their captain continued. "Sergeant Tucker and I have been mulling over exactly how this should be handled for the past half hour and we have some questions."

This caught Olivia's attention as she shifted her gaze between her two superiors. Elliot, feeling more confident, sat straighter in his chair and said, "Ask away."

"First of all, when did this _relationship_ start?" Tucker asked with a scoff.

"_First of all_ Tucker, you might not want to get all sarcastic when referring to me and Liv. This is not some bullshit fling that tons of male-female partners have and I'd appreciate it if –"

"Elliot!" Olivia silenced him through clenched teeth. She then glared over at Tucker and responded shortly. "A little over two months."

"I see," Tucker responded, raising an eyebrow at Cragen. "Have you noticed a decrease in their close rate or performance in the field during that time, Cragen?"

"No, sir. If anything, they have been an even stronger team than before. Stabler and Benson continue to be my best pair."

Elliot felt his heart rate quicken and could hear Olivia's breaths do the same at the thought of this possibly working out in their favor.

Tucker paced the area beside Cragen's desk before stopping directly in front of the three SVU members. This is how it's going to play out. As there is no real rule written regarding partners not being involved personally, we are going to go ahead with what Cragen suggested. There will be a trial period of three months. If your performance or professional behavior is in any way compromised, you will have to be separated, possibly reassigned to different departments. I suggest you be on your very best behavior and not be open about your little _thing_ here while at work. I assure you the _second _I hear about one you screwing up, you're through here…the second I hear of Cragen covering for anything you do, you're through. Do I make myself clear to you all?"

Elliot blinked in shock. It couldn't be this simple…could it? He looked over at Olivia and reality set in. Of course it wouldn't be that simple. He now had to convince her that this was worth risking. She was still furious with him for going behind her back to Cragen and she was obviously still unsure of the entire situation as a whole.

No, things could never be that simple.

Clearing her throat, Olivia furrowed her brows. "What happens after this 'trial period'?

"If you make it through without any issues and still even want to be together-" Tucker stopped to huff out a breath and roll his eyes. "- then the two of you would be evaluated by the department shrink at the end of the three months and then again on a quarterly basis."

Olivia nodded and then looked at Elliot for the first time since they entered the office. He tensed as he heard her sigh in aggravation, but then gave her a lopsided smile as he saw the slightest hint of a sparkle in her eyes.

**{EO}**

After a torturously slow and surprisingly uneventful late afternoon and evening, Elliot convinced Olivia to grab a drink with him at Flannagin's Pub. Flannigan's was a cozy neighborhood bar located around the corner from Elliot's two bedroom apartment. It was rarely overcrowded, always dark, and consistently had good music playing on the jukebox.

Elliot playfully kicked at Olivia's foot underneath the table at their corner booth, causing her to look up from peeling the label off of her beer bottle. "You know what that means, right? Peeling off bottle labels?"

Kicking him back in the shin, Olivia lifted the cold bottle to her lips as she arched her right brow. "Real mature, Stabler…and you and you are just as sexually frustrated as I am," she stated before swallowing half of the beer.

"Come on, Liv. When the hell are you going to let this go?"

"Let this go? It just happened! You went behind my back and fucked with my career…my life! How do you not see that? We now are under extreme scrutiny and if we continue whatever this is, we have to have regular shrink evaluations! So no, I'm _not_ just going to let this go."

Elliot looked on in disbelief as she left to head towards the ladies room. He _had_ thought about everything. He knew what he was gambling, but didn't think about the fact that maybe Olivia didn't want to play the same hand. That maybe she didn't think he was worth the risks.

Fuck, he was such a selfish asshole.

Here he was thinking she'd be happy he was fighting for their right to attempt an actual, serious relationship, but no. She hated him for taking chances with her job. Hell, they were both taking a chance with their livelihood and he was the one who put them in the situation.

Elliot sat for a long moment contemplating his next move as Olivia made her way back to the table. He watched as she slid into the booth and took another long pull at her beer.

"I'm going to get going now, Liv." He watched her intently as her eyes filled with confusion.

He put some cash down on the table and grabbed his coat. Just as Olivia opened her mouth to speak, he placed a heavy hand on her shoulder. "Look, I did what I did because I want to try. I put myself out there and I want to see where we can go, and I thought you did too, but if you don't want this…Liv, there's nothing I can do." He brushed his fingers against the side of her neck. "The ball is in your court now."

Olivia watched his retreating form in suspicion and sadness as she finished her beer and wondered what the fuck just happened.

Fuck if the man didn't drive her crazy in every sense of the word.

She went over to the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey, laying down a ten dollar bill. Olivia downed the shot quickly, slamming the empty glass on the bar before pulling on her coat and heading out into the cold night air.

She wasn't going to let Elliot get out of this _that_ easily.

Olivia wasn't quite sure how, but he managed to make _her_ feel like the bad guy in the situation. The had both agreed that they had to let each other go, as hard as it may be and then he went behind her back and got Cragen involved. What did he really expect? H He took a huge risk, not only with his own career, but with hers…and she wasn't quite sure how to trust him again after that. One thing she knew for sure though, she wasn't done with him tonight.

She quickly walked the two blocks to Elliot's apartment building and pushed the button so he could buzz her in.

Nothing.

She pushed it again, this time harder as though that would make him answer. "Damn it, Elliot," she muttered to herself.

Growing more irritated, she pulled out her phone and dialed his number while looking up toward his third floor bedroom window. The light was on, so she knew he was just being stubborn by ignoring her.

"Yeah, Liv," he answered, sounding bored.

"Yeah, Liv? Are you serious right now Elliot? I've been standing out here for the past five minutes. Let me in, will you."

"I literally just walked out of the shower…give me a break! I'll buzz you up now. Just come in, I'll leave the door open."

He was pissed, but she was too.

When he stepped out of the elevator, Olivia released a breath of frustration, unsure of exactly what she was going to say to him. Turning the knob of his apartment door, she walked right into a hard wall. A hard, damp, naked, wall of muscles that was Elliot's bare chest.

"Um, uh…"

"So that's what you interrupted my shower to tell me?" Elliot smirked at her before retreating to his bedroom, clad only in a white terry cloth towel that left little to the imagination.

Bastard was playing dirty.

Olivia cleared her throat and shook her head clear of the sexual images floating through her head at the moment. "We need to talk, El."

"Oh _now_ you want to talk? Well let's hear it…I'm listening," he shouted from the bedroom as he pulled on a clean pair of boxer briefs.

Olivia sighed as she sat down on his loveseat and sank back into the cushions. She was finally ready to talk things through and let Elliot know how she truly felt about the future of their relationship and it seemed as though he had given up on talking.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Well here it is folks…the last chapter! This one is rated M for your reading pleasure ;) LOL Thanks again to everyone who helped along the way, especially Cori. Don't forget to let me know what you think after you read! **

Elliot walked out into his living room and raised an eyebrow at Olivia, waiting to hear what she had to say.

Olivia's hungry gaze raked up and down his mostly naked body as she attempted to compose herself enough to speak. "You aggravate me so fucking much sometimes, Elliot! Do you realize that?"

He walked over to her, clad only in his charcoal grey boxer briefs and looked down his nose at her as she sat on the couch. "Not nearly as much as you aggravate me."

His voice was low and rumbled throughout the small room.

Her breathing quickened, as did her heart rate. Olivia's mouth ran dry as she stared up at the man before her. Swallowing harshly, she responded, trying to sound calm. "You had no right to do what you did with my career…my life, El. I just really hope you understand what all of this means."

Leaning forward, hovering over her, Elliot placed his forearms on the cushions on either side of her head and whispered practically against her lips. "I do and it's worth it to me. I'm not sure how many times I have to tell you, but I'm in this one hundred percent, do you understand me?"

Her breath hitching in her chest, Olivia nodded slowly, staring Elliot in the eyes and wishing she had another shot back at the bar.

"Now." he growled against her ear, "What do _you_ want to do?"

Olivia exhaled against his cheek before answering him. "No more going behind my back. No more making decisions for the both of us without informing me first…got that?" She leaned forward causing him to straighten above her.

"I can do that, if you can stop freaking out over everything so easily." Elliot kneeled before her and rubbed his hands up and down her thighs. "Now why don't you relax, have another beer with me, and stay the night?"

Raising her eyebrows at his words, she was only able to release a hoarse, "Okay...maybe."

Elliot smirked and shook his head at her stubbornness as his hands continued to knead her thighs. "Maybe, huh?"

Leaning forward, she whispered hotly into his ear. "Maybe…now where's my beer?"

He chuckled in frustration as he stood, his briefs clad semi hard penis directly in front of her face. "Well, that's a start I guess." He walked into the kitchen to grab two beers from the refrigerator.

Olivia sucked in a breath and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. The man was trying to kill her; but she still had more to say before she could let herself give in to the temptation that is Elliot Stabler.

Elliot opened two beers in the kitchen and walked back toward her with a tight smile on his face. He handed her a beer and sat beside her on the loveseat, leaving enough distance between them to give her space.

They both downed more than half of their beers in awkward silence.

Clearing her throat, Olivia decided it was time to bite the bullet and say everything she needed to say, as difficult as it may be with a half-naked Elliot sitting beside her. She could feel the heat emanating from his body which was not helping her focus on her words. Finally she turned toward him and placed a hand on his knee causing his body to stiffen slightly.

Breaking the silence, she began. "As ridiculous as it sounds, these past few weeks have been the happiest I've felt in a long time…pathetic, huh?"

Elliot's eyes widened in surprise at her words, but he remained quiet and simply shook his head, placed a hand over her own, and let her continue.

She huffed out a nervous breath at the contact and his lack of response, but forged forward. "And as corny as it is to say, the worst day with you is better than the best day without you, Elliot."

"Liv-" He cupped the side of her face and brushed his thumb over the apple of her cheek.

Closing her eyes at the contact, she interrupted. "Let me finish. I came storming over here thinking I was going to curse you out, but somewhere between the bar and your apartment, I realized that everything you did was to fight for us. Well, now I'm fighting too…except not with you, but _for_ you."

Elliot blinked at her words and his lips slowly spread into a wide grin. "I love you, Liv."

"I love you," she echoed as she crawled into his lap reveling in the feel of his strong arms around her, his hands rubbing soothing circles over her back. She sighed into his neck and ran her fingers against his scalp. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to take a hot shower, cleanse myself of this day and just start fresh. That okay?"

Disappointed at her breaking their embrace to climb off of him and head toward the bathroom, Elliot groaned and turned to grab the beer he left on his small side table. He then heard her speak behind him in a low drawl, causing the small hairs to raise on the back of his neck.

"Aren't you going to join me?" Her voice oozed sex.

Placing the beer down and smiling stupidly to himself, he turned to respond with an enthusiastic, "Right behind you!" He grabbed her hand and led her to his bathroom.

As soon as they reached the small bathroom, Elliot backed Olivia up against the wall and pulled her into a bruising kiss. He shuddered as he reveled in the feel of her fingernails lightly scraping up and down the sides of his arms and shoulders.

Olivia's head hit against the wall as Elliot pressed his whole body against her and his tongue invaded her mouth. She sighed into him as she realized that there was nothing stopping them this time. No crazy psycho killer after her, no being weak from pneumonia, no work holding them back from exploring each other the way they had been wanting to for way too long.

She raised her thigh to hook the back of her knee onto Elliot's hip as he ground his hard erection against her. "Mmph, Liv," he mumbled against her mouth. He tore himself away only to toy with the edge of her top, skimming the skin of her abdomen with his teasing fingertips.

Taking advantage of the extra space between them, Olivia slid her hand into his boxer briefs to stroke him lightly. She moaned lowly as he filled her palm, growing even harder and thicker. It was the first time she had the pleasure of touching him so intimately.

Elliot hissed and whispered into her ear. "I want you now." He whipped off her top with one swift movement and removed her bra as she continued to rub against him.

Looking down at her half naked body, he groaned and ducked his head to lick and suck roughly at her nipples. Olivia's head rolled back on her shoulders as the sounds of their moans and bated breaths filled the room.

Elliot broke their contact briefly to turn on the shower and Olivia took this time to remove the rest of her clothing, except for her panties. They both stood still for a moment, chests heaving, eyes roaming. He then grasped the back of her neck to pull her into another passionate kiss as he snaked his other hand down her body and slipped her panties aside to insert one, thick finger inside of her. They moaned together at the contact. "God, Olivia…you are so fucking wet."

Groaning at his words, she tugged at his boxer briefs, urging him to remove them so she could feel him fully against her. Elliot slid his finger from her flesh and knelt down in front of her, pulling her damp panties down as he went. Olivia released a shuddering breath as she stepped out of them and felt his hot breath against her wetness. "Elliot, please…"

"I just want to taste you again first," he mumbled against her, shooting vibrations through her body. Before she could respond his tongue was on her clit, rubbing small circles of pleasure.

"El, God," she moaned before pulling him up by the shoulders to lick at his neck and nip his earlobe. "I can't wait anymore."

Maintaining eye contact in the steam filled room, Elliot stepped out of his boxer briefs and into the shower. Olivia wasted no time following him into the hot mist.

Pulling her slick body tight against his own, Elliot kissed her hungrily under the spray of warm water, cleansing them of the horrors of the past few weeks. Breaking the kiss, he gave her a brief smirk before turning her body so that her back was facing him. He then ran his hands up and down her back and began to massage her shoulders. Olivia sighed at his touches and the feel of the water playing against her muscles. She rested her forehead against the cool tile as Elliot leaned forward to drop hot, open mouthed kisses to her upper back and shoulders, trailing over the side of her neck. "I need you," he whispered against her ear, causing a shiver down her spine.

She answered by arching into him and rubbing her ass against his erection. Elliot groaned into her ear and lightly tugged on her hair, pulling the back of her head against his shoulder. He turned his head to kiss her with urgency as his hands wandered over her body. Breathing heavily through his nose, he then reached around from behind to dig his fingers into the soft flesh of the front of her thighs, running them up until his hands settled on her hips, drawing her in tightly against him.

"Oh," Olivia gasped, breaking the kiss and grinding into him with more purpose. She moaned as she felt his large hand cup her full breast while his other hand led his rock hard erection to enter her from behind.

They both stopped breathing for a moment.

"Fuck," Elliot growled as he bent her forward slightly, drawing him deeper inside her wet heat. They stood still this way for a long moment, both absorbing the intensity of the moment. Years of desire, complicated feelings, and finally love swirling around them and mingling in the steamy air.

Elliot gritted his teeth and began to move inside her, bringing the hand that was not massaging her breast down to rub her most sensitive area just above where their bodies were joined. Her heavy breaths and moans encouraged him to continue thrusting into her with slow, punishing strokes.

"Shit, Oh my God," Olivia keened as she snaked her arms back and around Elliot's neck. The hot steam against their bodies only enhanced her feeling of being enveloped in his warmth. Around her, inside her, pushing into her again and again. His hands and his dick were relentless and she became overwhelmed with emotion and pleasure all at once.

She breathed him in as he licked the back of her neck and one final, rough, thrust brought her over the edge. She cried out in a string of curses as her body shook and clenched around him.

"Liv…fuck!" Elliot barely gave her a moment to catch her breath before he swiftly pulled out of her completely and spun her around, gripping her by the thighs and pushing her against the tile. She automatically locked her ankles around him as he pushed into her once again, causing her to yell out in surprise.

"Oh…oh, God, Elliot." She was going to come again much to her complete shock. She didn't even have time to recover from her first before her second, even more intense orgasm began. She reached down to cup Elliot's ass, pushing him deeper causing them both to cry out from the sensation.

Leaning into his shoulder and circling her hips as best as she could in the position she was in, she whispered, "Come for me, baby."

"Shit, god damn, Liv!" Elliot finally let himself go, a powerful orgasm ripping through his body, causing his thrusts to falter as he filled her with his warmth. Panting against her, he leaned forward to rest his head against the tile beside her. "Holy, shit."

"Yeah," she breathed as she slid her legs down to touch the floor of the tub, her knees almost giving out on her. She pressed a kiss onto his shoulder as they held each other and slowly began to calm.

Later, Elliot and Olivia lay on his bed, bodies intertwined, sated and at peace. The sheets and pillows were a tangled mess on the floor and Olivia lay against Elliot's chest, listening to his even breaths and feeling the gentle rise and fall. "Mmm, you smell good, she breathed.

Tracing lazy patterns on the soft skin of her upper arm, he replied sleepily, "So do you."

"Might have something to do with the fact that we both soaped each other up with your Irish Spring," she laughed as she turned to play with the sparse hair on his chest in front of her.

"Nah, you always smell good, Liv." He inhaled her deeply.

Chuckling lightly, Olivia craned her neck to look up at him, her hair tickling his bare skin.

"What's so funny?"

She smiled brightly and placed a light kiss onto his chest. "Now I finally understand the expression I've died and gone to heaven."

Elliot's face lit up with a crooked smile as he pulled her in tighter to him and dropped a kiss onto the top of her head. "Don't ever put me through that again, got it? Next time a psycho stalker is after you, don't be so damn stubborn."

She laughed softly and settled her head back against him. Reflecting over the past few weeks, they drifted off to sleep, drowning into one another and she couldn't be happier.


End file.
